Tick ain't got nothing on me

[Jamesman42]

I had a McFlurry yesterday. A man needs to eat candy-filled ice cream every once in a while.

[SPNKr]

Why is this a thread?

jokes lat <3

[Tick]

Question: How does Lateralus88 start a thread that people would actually want to respond to?

Answer: Put the name tick in the thread title.

[JosephAOI]

Actually, lat's probably one of my favorite guys on here  sorry tick!

[Ravenheart]

[Jamesman42]

That pic just made me bust out laughing hahahahahahaha

ha

[Ravenheart]

I can't really take credit for it. Seth made it 

[ClairvoyantCat]

[Orbert]

Burger King has a veggie burger, with one of those pseudo-meat patties made from vegetable protein and stuff, and my wife orders them sometimes.  The receipt always has it as a "Veggie Whopper".  So I ordered a Veggie Whopper once, and got a Whopper with no meat.  Everything else was there that you'd normally get on a Whopper, but no patty at all.  I asked them what the hell that was supposed to be, and they said it was a Veggie Whopper, a Whopper with no meat.  I told them I must have misspoke and that I wanted a Veggie Burger.  I got one.  The receipt said Veggie Whopper.

So the moral of the story is that they don't give you what you order, they give you what management has decided you probably want.  If you order what you want, they'll give you something else.

[HarlequinForest]

I had a McFlurry yesterday. A man needs to eat candy-filled ice cream every once in a while.

What kind?  M&M McFlurries rule.

[Gadough]

M&M McFlurrys > Oreo McFlurrys

For a while, my McDonald's had Reeses McFlurrys. God, those were so tits. Then they stopped offering them after a few months. I guess they didn't sell enough of them.

[lateralus88]

You ordered nothing but cheese and got nothing but cheese.  I don't see the problem.

Pfffft I've been making the same order at every restaurant for years now and no one ever took me this literally. 

[Sigz]

You ordered nothing but cheese and got nothing but cheese.  I don't see the problem.

Pfffft I've been making the same order at every restaurant for years now and no one ever took me this literally. 

Yeah, you ordered a cheeseburger with nothing but cheese. I don't know why they'd assume you didn't want the burger part.

[YtseBitsySpider]

Considering the fries are the only halfway decent thing about McDonald's, I'd say you hit the jackpot.

...The fries are one of the worst things on the menu, TBH

No way, they're good if they're fresh out.

If you watch the bonus material of "Super Size Me"......a pile of McDonald's fries are left out exposed to air for weeks, nay..months after the movie shooting was over.............................and they simply don't rot. I'm not sure what exactly they're made of but it aint potato.

[Tick]

Their on the buns where your hamburgers should be. Enjoy your cheese sir.

[Tick]

You ordered nothing but cheese and got nothing but cheese.  I don't see the problem.

Pfffft I've been making the same order at every restaurant for years now and no one ever took me this literally. 

Yeah, you ordered a cheeseburger with nothing but cheese. I don't know why they'd assume you didn't want the burger part.

Because it McDonald's and brains are not super sized.

[Jamesman42]

I had a McFlurry yesterday. A man needs to eat candy-filled ice cream every once in a while.

What kind?  M&M McFlurries rule.

Reese's, definitely my favorite. Sorry, Gadough.

[Gadough]

I had a McFlurry yesterday. A man needs to eat candy-filled ice cream every once in a while.

What kind?  M&M McFlurries rule.

Reese's, definitely my favorite. Sorry, Gadough.

Oh no, I completely agree. They just don't sell them here anymore.

[Jamesman42]

I had a McFlurry yesterday. A man needs to eat candy-filled ice cream every once in a while.

What kind?  M&M McFlurries rule.

Reese's, definitely my favorite. Sorry, Gadough.

Oh no, I completely agree. They just don't sell them here anymore.

That's why I said sorry.

[Gadough]

Oh.

Thanks.

[Zook]

You ordered nothing but cheese and got nothing but cheese.  I don't see the problem.

Pfffft I've been making the same order at every restaurant for years now and no one ever took me this literally. 

Yeah, you ordered a cheeseburger with nothing but cheese. I don't know why they'd assume you didn't want the burger part.

Because it McDonald's and brains are not super sized.

Yeah, if you asked for red onions on your salad, they get confused. You have to specify the purple ones.

[Tick]

You ordered nothing but cheese and got nothing but cheese.  I don't see the problem.

Pfffft I've been making the same order at every restaurant for years now and no one ever took me this literally. 

Yeah, you ordered a cheeseburger with nothing but cheese. I don't know why they'd assume you didn't want the burger part.

Because it McDonald's and brains are not super sized.

Yeah, if you asked for red onions on your salad, they get confused. You have to specify the purple ones.

That is funny!

[TheMadgician]

Considering the fries are the only halfway decent thing about McDonald's, I'd say you hit the jackpot.

...The fries are one of the worst things on the menu, TBH

No way, they're good if they're fresh out.

If you watch the bonus material of "Super Size Me"......a pile of McDonald's fries are left out exposed to air for weeks, nay..months after the movie shooting was over.............................and they simply don't rot. I'm not sure what exactly they're made of but it aint potato.

McDonalds fries are kind of thin. Almost like a thick potato chip. I, personally, have never really seen a potato chip rot. Of course, that's probably not good either.

[petrucci07]

So today I went to McDonalds to grab a couple burgers and fries since I was in a rush and had no time to make something at home. I ordered two cheeseburgers with nothing but cheese.


I got two cheese sandwiches. No burger. Wtf?

What did you actually want?

[contest_sanity]

I'm betting the guy behind you in the drive-thru was also pretty pissed to get a bag with just 2 hamburger patties in it.

[Orbert]

Long time ago when we were dirt poor, I went through a Burger King drive-through to pick up food for me, my wife, and my son.  We had a coupon for buy one Whopper, get one free, which at that time was a big deal.  When I get to the pick-up window, the girl sets a bag of food on the sill, so I take it and start rolling my window back up.  She says "Hold on, sir" and sets another bag on the sill.  There's no way I ordered enough food to fill two bags, but I took it because, well... free food.  She says "Okay, one more" and sets a third bag of food on the sill, which I take.

She actually double-checks something and says "You're all set, have a good evening!" and I took it all home.  One of the bags was mostly Whoppers, four or five of them, and I think another burger or sandwich or two.  One bag was all fries.  The third bag was our actual order.

I'm betting the guy behind me was pissed when he got there and none of his food was ready, there was mass confusion, and finally they figured it out and had to remake everything.  Yeah, this makes me an asshole for doing it, but... free food.  Anyone who's been out there and literally not known where their next meal is coming from, or when, knows what that means.  Those of you who haven't, shut up.

[mizzl]

Anyone who's been out there and literally not known where their next meal is coming from, or when, knows what that means.

Wow...

[BanksD]

Long time ago when we were dirt poor, I went through a Burger King drive-through to pick up food for me, my wife, and my son.  We had a coupon for buy one Whopper, get one free, which at that time was a big deal.  When I get to the pick-up window, the girl sets a bag of food on the sill, so I take it and start rolling my window back up.  She says "Hold on, sir" and sets another bag on the sill.  There's no way I ordered enough food to fill two bags, but I took it because, well... free food.  She says "Okay, one more" and sets a third bag of food on the sill, which I take.

She actually double-checks something and says "You're all set, have a good evening!" and I took it all home.  One of the bags was mostly Whoppers, four or five of them, and I think another burger or sandwich or two.  One bag was all fries.  The third bag was our actual order.

I'm betting the guy behind me was pissed when he got there and none of his food was ready, there was mass confusion, and finally they figured it out and had to remake everything.  Yeah, this makes me an asshole for doing it, but... free food.  Anyone who's been out there and literally not known where their next meal is coming from, or when, knows what that means.  Those of you who haven't, shut up.

Oh my god that is awesome.

[Orbert]

Anyone who's been out there and literally not known where their next meal is coming from, or when, knows what that means.

Wow...

It's not like I've been homeless or anything like that, so I guess it sounds more melodramatic than it is, but it was an interesting time.  We'd all quit our day jobs and dedicated ourselves to the band.  We were getting paying gigs and had stars in our eyes.  Travelled all over Michigan playing loud music for drunk people.  One thing about gigging is that if you don't play that week, you don't get paid, and if you don't get paid, you don't eat.  Two weeks in a row with no gig, and you're doing things like digging through the cupboards and eating saltine crackers with ketchup, from ketchup packs you grabbed from the 7-Eleven over by the hot dogs.  If you have a sandwich, even if it sucks, you finish it.  Next time you're in a bar parking lot, 100 miles from home, hungry, smoking a cigarette you bummed from somebody, you're gonna think about that half a sandwich you threw away.

This wasn't that bad, we had a roof over our heads, a crummy apartment in Elgin, Illinois, and I'd started a new job teaching, but the first paycheck hadn't come yet and it took my wife a little while longer than we'd figured it would to find a new job after our son was born.  One more mouth to feed, one less income, so those two extra bags of Burger King was a freakin' feast.  I put it all in the refrigerator.  Whoppers reheated in the microwave are disgusting, fries are even worse, but that was two days' worth of food someone gave me.  Livin' for the city.

To this day, I have a lot of trouble leaving food on my plate, in a restaurant or at home.  Too many times I would've killed for the leftovers someone threw away.

[Global Laziness]

In a dark, smoky room, illuminated only by a small overhead light, a grey-suited man leans back in his chair. His feet rest on the desk and he holds a cigarette in his right hand, occasionally bringing it in for a drag.

This man is a private-eye detective, straight out of a black-and-white film. In a voice-over of the scene, the detective narrates his thoughts.

-----

Orbert's above post produced this vivid image in my mind. As such, I read it in the voice of that detective.