Author Topic: Mouse  (Read 18209 times)

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Offline glaurung

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #35 on: January 23, 2011, 02:03:12 PM »
The only cool way to deal with pests.

*snip*

BE A FUCKING MAN!

I like where you were going with this but there are some serious problems with your plan:

1. Trying to poison a mouse with Red Bull would never work. If anything, pumping him full of caffeine would just make him harder to hit.
2. Mice can see right through your camouflage, they smell and feed on your fear.
3. Good luck hitting a tiny mouse with darts, you just pumped him full of caffeine.
Cole: "Ow I just got hit in the balls"
Me: "How?"
Cole: "Well you know when you try to scratch your balls, and you scratch too hard?
I'll admit sometimes I want to listen to Dragonforce.

Offline PlaysLikeMyung

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #36 on: January 23, 2011, 02:07:54 PM »
The only cool way to deal with pests.

*snip*

BE A FUCKING MAN!

I like where you were going with this but there are some serious problems with your plan:

1. Trying to poison a mouse with Red Bull would never work. If anything, pumping him full of caffeine would just make him harder to hit.
2. Mice can see right through your camouflage, they smell and feed on your fear.
3. Good luck hitting a tiny mouse with darts, you just pumped him full of caffeine.

:rollin

Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #37 on: January 23, 2011, 02:08:26 PM »
This thread is glorious.

Hef is right on all things. Except for when I disagree with him. In which case he's probably still right.

Offline tri.ad

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #38 on: January 23, 2011, 02:08:58 PM »
Nice thread indeed.
... And you ask me: "Where's my hairspray?"

Mentlegen.

Offline zxlkho

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #39 on: January 23, 2011, 02:09:24 PM »
Holy shit awesome thread. :lol :lol
I AM A GUY
You're a fucking stupid bitch.
Orion....that's the one with a bunch of power chords and boringly harsh vocals, isn't it?

Offline El Barto

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #40 on: January 23, 2011, 02:18:40 PM »
The only cool way to deal with pests.

*snip*

BE A FUCKING MAN!

I like where you were going with this but there are some serious problems with your plan:

1. Trying to poison a mouse with Red Bull would never work. If anything, pumping him full of caffeine would just make him harder to hit.
2. Mice can see right through your camouflage, they smell and feed on your fear.
3. Good luck hitting a tiny mouse with darts, you just pumped him full of caffeine.
I can hit a moving mouse from 50' with one of those.  They're surprisingly accurate. 
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Offline lateralus88

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #41 on: January 23, 2011, 02:20:58 PM »






So what we have here, is a high tech piece of machinery. What I have set up is the red carpet (incidentally the color is tan) that leads into this monster of a death trap. The mouse will just be waltzing along, when he sees this pathway I made him. As he walks the path, he'll see the three most irresistible prizes a mouse could want. A bag of change, a model car and I picture of me from my childhood (don't be jealous, he isn't walking away with the picture). As the little fucker walks toward these things, he will get trapped in the breeze of my VORNADO BRAND MOTORIZED FAN. As he is hit by the fan which will be at MAXIMUM POWER, he will get blown directly into my poorly painted box, which will then be lit on fire (lighter not pictured).
I felt its length in quite a few places.

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Offline glaurung

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #42 on: January 23, 2011, 02:26:31 PM »
But what happens if the mouse is really fat? Are you sure the fan has enough power to handle that?
Cole: "Ow I just got hit in the balls"
Me: "How?"
Cole: "Well you know when you try to scratch your balls, and you scratch too hard?
I'll admit sometimes I want to listen to Dragonforce.

Offline lonestar

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #43 on: January 23, 2011, 02:27:47 PM »
 :rollin
You guys have waayyy to much time on your hands.

Here's my little addition, bacon and cheese flavored mouse poison...
Quote from: nightmare_cinema
So should lonestar and I have babies or something now, is that how this works?
Dang, you're easily the coolest fogey I know of

Offline lateralus88

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #44 on: January 23, 2011, 02:29:31 PM »
But what happens if the mouse is really fat? Are you sure the fan has enough power to handle that?
Dude, don't be hatin on the VORNADO. That is some heavy shit.
I felt its length in quite a few places.

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Offline ScioPath

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #45 on: January 23, 2011, 02:33:20 PM »
:rollin
You guys have waayyy to much time on your hands.

Here's my little addition, bacon and cheese flavored mouse poison...


It might be worth the poison just for the bacon flavor.

Offline lonestar

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #46 on: January 23, 2011, 02:38:32 PM »
If you notice, is says,"quick acting formula",  you wouldn't have much time to enjoy that bacon flavor. :xbones
Quote from: nightmare_cinema
So should lonestar and I have babies or something now, is that how this works?
Dang, you're easily the coolest fogey I know of

Offline Sigz

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #47 on: January 23, 2011, 02:40:43 PM »
Why would I want to kill the mouse? I'd befriend it at the first opportunity; we could drink and surf the internet and listen to music together, it'd be awesome. He'd quickly become my go-to mouse for everything. Girl troubles? Talk to the mouse. Need someone to go to a gig with? That mouse fucking loves to mosh. My friends would love him, because he's an adorable mouse, and who doesn't love those? At clubs he's the perfect wingman, jumping on grenades so I can get with the hottest girl there. He's my best friend in the world, and I'm closer to him than I could ever be to a fellow human.

But then, early one morning I awake and go to the kitchen to make a bagel. I open the cupboard, and there he is, munching away on my bagels. My. Bagels. I blackout, and when I awake I find myself covered in blood, clutching the severed head of a girl I've never seen before and the mouse's skin is stuck to the wall with a thumbtack. I never found his body.
Quote
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Offline glaurung

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #48 on: January 23, 2011, 02:44:04 PM »
Why would I want to kill the mouse? I'd befriend it at the first opportunity; we could drink and surf the internet and listen to music together, it'd be awesome. He'd quickly become my go-to mouse for everything. Girl troubles? Talk to the mouse. Need someone to go to a gig with? That mouse fucking loves to mosh. My friends would love him, because he's an adorable mouse, and who doesn't love those? At clubs he's the perfect wingman, jumping on grenades so I can get with the hottest girl there. He's my best friend in the world, and I'm closer to him than I could ever be to a fellow human.

But then, early one morning I awake and go to the kitchen to make a bagel. I open the cupboard, and there he is, munching away on my bagels. My. Bagels. I blackout, and when I awake I find myself covered in blood, clutching the severed head of a girl I've never seen before and the mouse's skin is stuck to the wall with a thumbtack. I never found his body.

See, if you had a trap set up next to your bagels this never would have happened. I'm going to be generous and allow you to use my design.
Cole: "Ow I just got hit in the balls"
Me: "How?"
Cole: "Well you know when you try to scratch your balls, and you scratch too hard?
I'll admit sometimes I want to listen to Dragonforce.

Offline lateralus88

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #49 on: January 23, 2011, 02:44:18 PM »
Sigz is John Coffey.
I felt its length in quite a few places.

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Offline lonestar

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #50 on: January 23, 2011, 02:50:31 PM »
This thread reminds me of a day at an old restaurant whour outside storage area.  We had set up some of that sticky paper to catch the little buggers with.  On Easter Sunday, a buddy and I were out there to smoke and saw that one was caught on the thing, struggling to get free.  In a very PC manner, I turned to my bud and said,"You think that's what Jesus was like on the cross?"



Yes, I am going to hell.
Quote from: nightmare_cinema
So should lonestar and I have babies or something now, is that how this works?
Dang, you're easily the coolest fogey I know of

Offline Sigz

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #51 on: January 23, 2011, 02:57:08 PM »
Alright, a trap to catch that bagel-stealing cockstain. Should be self-explanatory:

Quote
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Offline lateralus88

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #52 on: January 23, 2011, 02:58:23 PM »
:clap:
I felt its length in quite a few places.

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Offline tri.ad

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #53 on: January 23, 2011, 02:58:40 PM »
 :rollin :rollin
... And you ask me: "Where's my hairspray?"

Mentlegen.

Offline glaurung

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #54 on: January 23, 2011, 03:00:59 PM »
Interesting. It's elegant in it's simplicity.

The one problem I see is that there is no such thing as a shit bagel. So you'll have to use a regular godly bagel and deprive yourself of delicious foods.
Cole: "Ow I just got hit in the balls"
Me: "How?"
Cole: "Well you know when you try to scratch your balls, and you scratch too hard?
I'll admit sometimes I want to listen to Dragonforce.

Offline lonestar

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #55 on: January 23, 2011, 03:03:06 PM »
I lost t at "bagel stealing cockstain"
 :rollin
Quote from: nightmare_cinema
So should lonestar and I have babies or something now, is that how this works?
Dang, you're easily the coolest fogey I know of

Offline ScioPath

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #56 on: January 23, 2011, 03:40:30 PM »
Oh that'll never work without arbitrarily placed keys.

Offline glaurung

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #57 on: January 23, 2011, 06:51:42 PM »
Moar designs!
Cole: "Ow I just got hit in the balls"
Me: "How?"
Cole: "Well you know when you try to scratch your balls, and you scratch too hard?
I'll admit sometimes I want to listen to Dragonforce.

Offline lateralus88

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #58 on: January 23, 2011, 06:57:54 PM »
I think I've got some rough drafts floating about. But this thought process takes time. As Timmy has shown us, you can't rush genius.
I felt its length in quite a few places.

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Offline Ultimetalhead

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #59 on: January 23, 2011, 07:02:24 PM »
Yeah. I've been working on a few schematics myself. If we keep this up we could make millions. MILLIONS I TELL YOU.
Orion....that's the one with a bunch of power chords and boringly harsh vocals, isn't it?
LOOK AT THIS AWESOME SHIT AHHHHHH

Offline LCArenas

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #60 on: January 23, 2011, 07:31:11 PM »
Boasting in an epic bead

Also, I know my grandpa has an awesome way to catch mouses. I think it's something like he puts a piece of meat into a box. The box is exactly on the edge of a full washtub. Once the mouse enters, the door grilles of the box falls down because of the mouse's weight, which also causes the box to fall down into the washtub, drowning the mouse.

I don't have pics because I saw it when I was a child, haven't seen it since.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2011, 07:39:13 PM by LCArenas »

Offline SPNKr

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #61 on: January 23, 2011, 07:33:58 PM »
Coasting in an epic stead. Archive this motherfucker.

Offline MetalManiac666

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #62 on: January 23, 2011, 07:35:24 PM »
You people have way too much god damn time on your hands.

I might build my own glorious mouse-killing structure sometime tomorrow though.

Offline Chino

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #63 on: January 23, 2011, 07:47:47 PM »
First the mouse wonders into my room and sees this.



He/She mistakes my paper machete penguin from highschool to be an actual penguin. The mouse decides to play a game chess.



Then when he/she leasts expects it....



Offline glaurung

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #64 on: January 23, 2011, 07:49:50 PM »
Brilliant! :lol
Cole: "Ow I just got hit in the balls"
Me: "How?"
Cole: "Well you know when you try to scratch your balls, and you scratch too hard?
I'll admit sometimes I want to listen to Dragonforce.

Offline sonatafanica

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #65 on: January 23, 2011, 07:51:22 PM »
It won't work unless you have keys.

Offline lateralus88

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #66 on: January 23, 2011, 07:53:24 PM »
It won't work unless you have keys.
This. Keys are what tie the entire trap together.
I felt its length in quite a few places.

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Offline Chino

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #67 on: January 23, 2011, 08:11:23 PM »

Offline PlaysLikeMyung

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #68 on: January 23, 2011, 08:23:13 PM »


We were talking about this in skype. nobody had it on them though

Offline glaurung

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Re: Mouse
« Reply #69 on: January 23, 2011, 08:26:03 PM »


Any one of these devices could trap mice better than that piece of shit.
Cole: "Ow I just got hit in the balls"
Me: "How?"
Cole: "Well you know when you try to scratch your balls, and you scratch too hard?
I'll admit sometimes I want to listen to Dragonforce.