I can't believe I'm even writing this, but I got to see Frank Zappa in 1981, and it was the worst gig I've ever been to.
TOO LONG; DON'T READ
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This was during the "Crush all Boxes" tour, which led to the "Tinseltown Rebellion" live album. He was asking people (well, girls) to "donate" their panties by tossing them onstage. Some asshole threw a whiskey bottle on stage.
With a wave of his hand, Frank stopped the band cold, in the middle of a jam. He called for the house lights, which revealed confusion on the main floor, somebody get the crap beaten out of him. He was taken away, and Frank proceeded to lecture us on proper concert etiquette. I'm being polite - he was pissed, and rightfully so, and his restraint was admirable. The Masonic Theater in Royal Oak is a beautiful, amazing venue, and Frank commented on that, and how even in such a place, people will act like idiots. Eventually, he calmed down some, turned and yelled "THREE, FOUR!" and the band picked up right where they'd left off. It was like he'd released the Pause button that he'd pressed earlier.
At the end of the show, as the final chord of the last song was still echoing, the house lights came up, and the message was clear: No encores for you!
Even as I was disappointed, I admired the integrity (?) which led him to conclude that this audience did not get an encore. No amount of applause, cheering, screaming or yelling was going to "earn" us one. But somehow I didn't blame Frank. I was pissed at the moron who threw the bottle.
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Other impressions: The way the band stopped on a dime was awesome, only surpassed by how they resumed at, as far as I could tell, the exact point where they'd stopped. Stories about Frank's total command of his ensemble abound, but I got to witness it first-hand. I only wish the circumstances leading to it were more positive.
I'm not sure what I expected, but I remember being surprised by how his guitar solos came up. There were (I believe) five times during the show when Frank took a "spotlight solo". Crazy song or jam is proceeding on stage, then the tempo and mood suddenly change, stage lighting switches to blues and reds, and a spotlight comes on. Frank strolls forward into the spotlight and takes his solo. It is amazing, of course. Then the lights, music, and mood return to what was going on before, or maybe move on to something else.
Obviously it was Frank's show and his band, but I generally expect a guitar solo to "grow out of" the song. You know, it's normally played over the same progression as a verse or chorus. For each of these events, however, it was very clear what was happening: The Maestro will now take a solo! It was quite unlike anything I'd ever seen/heard before, and I honestly didn't think much of it. For me, it's not just the solo, it's how it compliments everything else going on in the song. Switching to a different key, time, or tempo specifically for the duration of the solo seemed artificial, and seemed like a massive indulgence of ego (which I guess was the unexpected part). If the band is jamming in 11/8, I want to hear the solo played over the same pattern. What can he come up with? Don't throw in a 4/4 blues solo, then return to the 11/8 riff to finish the song; solo in 11/8!
Another impression: At the time, I only had maybe half a dozen Zappa/Mothers albums. Since Frank's shows tended to draw from all periods, I didn't know a lot of the songs they played. Again, with most bands, that's not a big deal. If you don't know the song, but it's got a good beat and catchy harmonies, no problem. But a lot of Frank's music takes a few listens to really "click" with me, so there was a lot of unfamiliar stuff and no opportunity for it to sink in, when I guess I was thinking I'd get to hear more of my favorites and maybe even sing along. My buddy and I were most familiar with the Flo & Eddie period and the Roxy & Elsewhere album. The shows we "knew" had a theme, an ongoing patter between tunes, or something. Collecting panties is cool, but reminding us to donate them every couple of songs isn't quite the same as a permeating theme to the show, which was otherwise just a collection of songs.
Don't get me wrong. The show was still great. It's not possible for me to come away from a great performance by talented musicians and not be impressed. But Frank did things his way, regardless of the "norm" for any given situation, and his live performances were clearly no different. I'm glad I got to see him, and I would probably be in a better position to appreciate it now. But that's not going to happen now, so what I'm left with is memories of seeing one of my all-time favorite musicians, and having to rate it an honest 6 or 7, tops, on a scale of 10.
Topic: Worst gig you've ever been to? (Read 19931 times)
