Author Topic: Tell me if this girl is too specific.  (Read 20742 times)

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Offline Jamesman42

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Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« on: April 18, 2010, 07:51:08 PM »
Yes, I searched again for a good Christian girl on a dating site, and found this gem (it made me laugh):



"Here we go......This is the type of person I'm looking for, and don't hope for exceptions, sorry: A completely straight guy who has never been married and has no kids, who is either in college currently or has graduated from college, doesn't drink or smoke, is Protestant Christian or undecided and at least open to that path, and is anything but strictly liberal in their political views. But I don't want someone who is overly spiritual, that just freaks me out. Is significantly taller than me, more muscular than me, and not fatter than me. However, I care more about faces than bodies. They should care about their appearance, and smell really good (not as just a cover-up for bad smell either), knowing quite a bit about the science of hygiene. Someone who is interested in foreign language and culture. Someone who can keep a job and is not in the habit of burning bridges. Someone who values honesty and is never fake. Someone who doesn't just want to get in my pants...and trust me, I can tell if he does. Someone who is willing to travel and someone who I can look at and not easily label (for example, if I can look at you and say "goth", "wigger", "jock", "geek", "punk", "hick", "gangsta", etc, then I won't even glance a second time). No pictures in a mirror with a cell phone, and no barbed wire tattoos around the arm. No wife beaters or gang signs. If you have yellow teeth, there is something you can do about it. Oh and they must like Family Guy, and not just the stupid, over-quoted parts. Preferably not obsessed with sports, but realizes the importance of exercise. Extremely logical and open-minded (open-minded does not mean liberal). Humble. And FUNNY. Not a stupid funny, but a clever, dry, sarcastic sort of funny. Tolerant of my sleepiness and understanding of my negative humor.
I know it seems kinda picky, but I have had enough experience with this to know what works and what doesn't. PERIOD. And I don't like wasting my time."

I mean, OK, she has some stuff right, but she gets really ... specific. Yeah, it's "kinda picky" (by the way, I like it when my women use proper English).

Offline glaurung

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2010, 07:54:14 PM »
If you know nothing about the science of hygiene we are not a match.
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Offline Adami

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2010, 07:56:03 PM »
If you accept the science of anythign else, we are not a match.
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Offline Ultimetalhead

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2010, 07:56:27 PM »
Posting in a soon-to-be epic thread.

If you accept the science of anythign else, we are not a match.
:lol
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Offline ZBomber

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2010, 07:57:46 PM »
James... you gotta find better dating sites.

Offline Jamesman42

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2010, 07:59:09 PM »
If you go to a different dating site, we are not a match.

Offline Arcaeus

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2010, 08:01:20 PM »
That's fucking ridiculous. She deserves to be alone for the rest of her life.

Offline GuineaPig

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2010, 08:01:46 PM »
If you think it odd that you are required to be open-minded when I won't consider anything less than my perceived ideal, we are not a match.
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."

Offline Sigz

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2010, 08:02:11 PM »
Extremely logical and open-minded (open-minded does not mean liberal)

lol
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Offline millahh

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2010, 08:05:43 PM »
James... you gotta find better dating sites.

No, he needs to stay on this one...threads based on what he sees there are routinely epic.
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Offline Jamesman42

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2010, 08:07:17 PM »
I swear, if you copy and paste my requirements for dating me on your internetz, we are not a match.

Offline antigoon

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2010, 08:09:38 PM »
If you quit making awesome threads like this, we are not a match.

Offline Jamesman42

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2010, 08:15:03 PM »
 :lol :lol

She's actually a cute girl, too.


Offline Adami

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2010, 08:15:35 PM »
Oh that's easy. Tell her you fit her description perfectly. Then mouth rape her.

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Offline glaurung

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2010, 08:18:26 PM »
Oh that's easy. Tell her you fit her description perfectly. Then stick it in her pooper.

Fix'd.
Cole: "Ow I just got hit in the balls"
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Cole: "Well you know when you try to scratch your balls, and you scratch too hard?
I'll admit sometimes I want to listen to Dragonforce.

Offline Sigz

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #15 on: April 18, 2010, 08:19:39 PM »
Quote
The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

Offline LTE

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #16 on: April 18, 2010, 08:23:28 PM »
James... you gotta find better dating sites.

Honestly. All these women are neurotic cunts.
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Offline Jamesman42

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #17 on: April 18, 2010, 08:24:04 PM »
:lol :lol

She's actually a cute girl, too.




Quote
This is the type of person I'm looking for ... A completely straight guy

Sorry bro.

Offline Sigz

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #18 on: April 18, 2010, 08:25:55 PM »
Well, that disqualifies both of us after what happened last night.
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Offline splent

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #19 on: April 18, 2010, 08:29:02 PM »
When they are that specific they have no concept of what a dating site is.

However, she basically described me... except for the whole never been married thing.  Too bad she's like five years too late, and my wife is absolutely amazing.
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Offline Jamesman42

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #20 on: April 18, 2010, 08:29:56 PM »
Well, that disqualifies both of us after what happened last night.

I'm still thinking about how you managed to do that with TWO rubber duckies.

Offline Sigz

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #21 on: April 18, 2010, 08:31:22 PM »
There was actually a third one you didn't even see.
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Offline ddtonfire

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #22 on: April 18, 2010, 08:33:04 PM »
Silly girls with their "Mr. Right" mentality.


EDIT: Is her shirt see-through?

Offline Jamesman42

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #23 on: April 18, 2010, 08:33:22 PM »
That explains why my bed squeaks every time I lay down on it.

Offline LeeHarveyKennedy

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Re: If you're not into whips, we are not a match.
« Reply #24 on: April 18, 2010, 08:34:50 PM »
Eh, I'd hit it. I'd hit it like the Roman centurions hit Jesus in The Passion.
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Offline lonestar

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #25 on: April 18, 2010, 08:35:22 PM »
There was actually a third one you didn't even see.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE YOU DID THE RUBBER DUCKIE THING WITH!!!!!!  YOU TWO TIMING WHORE!!!!  WE ARE NOT A MATCH!!!!!
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Offline Sigz

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #26 on: April 18, 2010, 08:37:44 PM »
Oh! uh... well... you see.... it's kinda like...

...

*runs*
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Offline Jamesman42

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Re: If you're not into whips, we are not a match.
« Reply #27 on: April 18, 2010, 08:40:44 PM »
Eh, I'd hit it. I'd hit it like the Roman centurions hit Jesus in The Passion.

Dangit dude, I shouldn't be laughing at this! The subject reply did it for me. :lol

Offline yorost

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #28 on: April 18, 2010, 08:41:44 PM »
Quote
They should care about their appearance, and smell really good (not as just a cover-up for bad smell either), knowing quite a bit about the science of hygiene.
This will be trouble for her.

Offline LeeHarveyKennedy

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Re: If you're not into autoerotic crucifixion, we are not a match.
« Reply #29 on: April 18, 2010, 08:45:57 PM »
Eh, I'd hit it. I'd hit it like the Roman centurions hit Jesus in The Passion.

Dangit dude, I shouldn't be laughing at this! The subject reply did it for me. :lol

Nail her like it's Good Friday, dude.
HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!  THIS is why LHK is the President of Awesome.

Why is everything you post the best thing ever said?  :lol

LHK is beyond EPIC.
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Offline Sigz

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #30 on: April 18, 2010, 08:47:08 PM »
 :rollin
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Offline Gwii

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« Reply #31 on: April 18, 2010, 09:17:29 PM »
If you change the thread subject every time you post we are not a match
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Offline ZBomber

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #32 on: April 18, 2010, 09:17:54 PM »
 :rollin

Once again, in epic and dramatic fashion, LHK won the thread.

Offline Adami

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #33 on: April 18, 2010, 09:25:04 PM »
Ask her if she knows how magnets work.
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Offline GuineaPig

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Re: Tell me if this girl is too specific.
« Reply #34 on: April 18, 2010, 09:26:08 PM »
Ask her if she knows how magnets work.

She's only interested in hygiene science, not miracles.
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