The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[Adami]

As predicted I'm going to suggest therapy and not drinking like that.

[ReaperKK]

Sorry to hear about all the troubles Jay. Therapy will do wonders. Not drinking will be an immediate help, not only on your mental health but also physically.

[JayOctavarium]

So my cousin recommended a place (she isn't local so it was just via searches she found it), and I mentioned my shit I am going through to one of my closest friends, and he recommended the same place. So I think next week I'll call start looking into it.

I'll admit... the idea scares the shit out of me, but also intrigues me. I was in therapy in my early teens for ADHD and possible depression, and I really didn't like it as the therapist literally divulged everything I fucking said to my stepmother, who was making me go. But I kinda almost got into a car accident last night on my way home from work. A combination of just being emotion to the point where I was numb, plus getting off of a 12 hour shift, and not having eaten in 25 hours, I kinda just zoned out and took a turn too hard, in the rain, and spun out. That's kinda also an eye opener.

[ReaperKK]

Best of luck Jay. Also if you don't think you like a therapist for whatever reason you can always look for another. Some people just don't click with their therapist.

[JayOctavarium]

So I am doing a bad thing and putting off seeing someone till next month. The reason being that I may still be eligible for help through the court system, (my dad's death and all).. I have another day in court regarding that on March 20 (ironically what woulda been my dad's 63rd birthday)... So i am going to look into it then.

Also.. I haven't drank in a few days. So yea. I'm going to try to stay away from that.

[Adami]

So I am doing a bad thing and putting off seeing someone till next month. The reason being that I may still be eligible for help through the court system, (my dad's death and all).. I have another day in court regarding that on March 20 (ironically what woulda been my dad's 63rd birthday)... So i am going to look into it then.

Also.. I haven't drank in a few days. So yea. I'm going to try to stay away from that.

You're doing just fine with all of that. You're trying to make the best decision for yourself financially and you're still looking into it all, that's not a bad thing at all.

[Prog Snob]

As predicted I'm going to suggest therapy and not drinking like that.

I'm going to suggest the opposite.

[JayOctavarium]

As predicted I'm going to suggest therapy and not drinking like that.

I'm going to suggest the opposite.

Go on

[Adami]

As predicted I'm going to suggest therapy and not drinking like that.

I'm going to suggest the opposite.

I don't know if you're trying to be funny or contrary because it's me, but actually suggesting someone not seek any help and just drink more alcohol is very dangerous.

Jay's an adult and can make his own decisions, but please show a little responsibility.

[Prog Snob]

As predicted I'm going to suggest therapy and not drinking like that.

I'm going to suggest the opposite.

Go on

There's nothing wrong with having a few drinks to relax yourself, but at the end of the day you need to man up and deal with the situation.

[Adami]

Having a few drinks after a hard day to relax and drinking a lot to numb out depression are not the same thing and you know it.

He wasn't talking about relaxing.

[Prog Snob]

Where did I say it's the same thing? Stop focusing on what I'm saying because you have a shitty habit of misconstruing it. All I said was that it's okay to have a few drinks but at the end of the day the problem needs to be dealt with. How is that so impossible to understand? I made no mention of approving of what he's doing.

[Adami]

I said to stop drinking to the extent that he was and to seek help. You literally said to do the opposite. The opposite is excessive drinking and not seeking help. I didn't misconstrue anything.

[JayOctavarium]

Guys.

I should have put the go on in green.

and on the topic of drinking.. as I've gotten "older" I've noticed such a difference in my drinking.. depression drinking vs social drinking. I'm gonna stay away from alcohol for a little bit.. but if say.. I found myself at a bar with my buddy or something.. I'd get shitfaced with out second thought.

Addiction runs in my family. My mother was an alcoholic. Ok.. is an alcoholic. That's why the depression drinking scares me.

[Adami]

THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU JAY!



Sorry, had to.

But I think that's a really good insight to have. I've worked with a lot of addicts, and I can tell you that insight into why you drink is one of the most important things someone can have.

[JayOctavarium]

I've always tried to be so self aware of everything. I may have shitty self-worth and self-identity, but I am at least self aware. That's why, (and I'm getting real here)... I'm still alive. The times in my life where I've had thoughts of ending things.. I've been aware enough of myself and my life to know that that isn't the best of ideas. It's a big commitment and I have commitment issues.

[Prog Snob]

I said to stop drinking to the extent that he was and to seek help. You literally said to do the opposite. The opposite is excessive drinking and not seeking help. I didn't misconstrue anything.

shhhh

[Cable]

Yeah I'm with Adami, being in the same/related professional field.

Addiction in its many forms is not really a moderation game. Especially if it's "depressed drinking" as JayO said, vs. "social" drinking. For someone in addiction, having a few is not a good long-term healthy option. And addiction isn't limited to just booze, street drugs, caffeine, gambling and tobacco. It permeates into many other realms, with gambling being an example. I also extend using unhealthy coping to beyond addiction, and to procrastination and trying to ignore problems via doing something else. And the unhealthy things we pick often activate the fun brain chemicals more effectively.

An internal bargaining process begins as I tell my clients/patients. For example; (self talk) time 1- just one beer, you deserve it. Really hard day, real hard event. That's it. 2- dude, that beer was awesome the other day. I bet having two will makes things even easier, and better. Then that's it. 3-well hey, I did fine with those two. Johnny has some weed, how about a coupe of beers and weed?

It then goes on and on. If someone can manage it, drink whatever amount, then deal with the problem. Then deal with the problem more.

I do not think Adami was getting at being judgmental about JayO's drinking, or the act of drinking anyway.

[jingle.boy]

It's actually refreshing that this thread has been inactive for so long.  Bumping, in case The Count missed this thread.

My depression has been ... dormant ... for a while - ironically, since I became unemployed.  Hope everyone else that frequents this thread is doing well.

[JayOctavarium]

Define "well"

Glad it's been dormant for you Chad. It's nice to breath once and a while and not feel the weight of... something something poetic something...

[jingle.boy]

Define "well"

No, you (everyone really) are responsible for defining it yourself.  My "well" may not be anyone else's "well".

[King Postwhore]

It's actually refreshing that this thread has been inactive for so long.  Bumping, in case The Count missed this thread.

My depression has been ... dormant ... for a while - ironically, since I became unemployed.  Hope everyone else that frequents this thread is doing well.

I've got to say Chad work is the biggest culprit that causes many issues for me.

[JayOctavarium]

Define "well"

No, you (everyone really) are responsible for defining it yourself.  My "well" may not be anyone else's "well".

Fucking deep man. Deep.

[jingle.boy]

It's actually refreshing that this thread has been inactive for so long.  Bumping, in case The Count missed this thread.

My depression has been ... dormant ... for a while - ironically, since I became unemployed.  Hope everyone else that frequents this thread is doing well.

I've got to say Chad work is the biggest culprit that causes many issues for me.

Work was a huge burden for me for quite some time.  Relieving that burden allowed me to focus on other things that helped me address my depression - reading, exercising, more time with/for the jingle.family etc...  The real effort will come when I get back to a job/career, and how much I can balance everything.

Define "well"

No, you (everyone really) are responsible for defining it yourself.  My "well" may not be anyone else's "well".

Fucking deep man. Deep.

Well.... 

[Adami]

I'm generally a pretty calm dude. It takes a lot to make me upset. I'm rather understanding and don't hold grudges.

So......


I'm on summer break for August from school (getting my doctorate in psychology) and was having fun after an awful summer semester with a horrible spiteful teacher. I was pretty confident I passed and I was happy to be done with it.

So then Friday I got an e-mail saying I was officially accused of cheating on the final exam by this dude.

Then I got a call from the girl who I was supposed to have cheat off of, and she's being accused of plagiarism.

Turns out there's 7 of us being accused of various things and he wants to fail all of us. So, naturally, people were pretty pissed off. Me? I was nervous, but not angry. Maybe the dude really thought I cheated. I get it, we're all human, we make mistakes. As long as I can argue that I didn't.

But then today I saw his score on my final paper. Dude gave ma C. Now is this such a crime? Nah. Maybe he just hated my paper despite never getting below a B on a paper in the past 5 years. But sure.

However, there's a catch. He allowed anyone to send him the paper ahead of time, get his feedback and make changes before final submission. Cool!

So I sent it off, and he wrote back saying it was a good paper, and looked good. Told me to make a few minor changes, which I did, all of them. Then he gives me a C.

NOW I'm pissed. That is not cool. You don't say it's good and then mark me off for stuff you never mentioned before.


Prettttttty close to killing Jay right now.

[JayOctavarium]

Prettttttty close to killing Jay right now.

I totally wouldn't mind.

[Cable]

I'm generally a pretty calm dude. It takes a lot to make me upset. I'm rather understanding and don't hold grudges.

So......


I'm on summer break for August from school (getting my doctorate in psychology) and was having fun after an awful summer semester with a horrible spiteful teacher. I was pretty confident I passed and I was happy to be done with it.

So then Friday I got an e-mail saying I was officially accused of cheating on the final exam by this dude.

Then I got a call from the girl who I was supposed to have cheat off of, and she's being accused of plagiarism.

Turns out there's 7 of us being accused of various things and he wants to fail all of us. So, naturally, people were pretty pissed off. Me? I was nervous, but not angry. Maybe the dude really thought I cheated. I get it, we're all human, we make mistakes. As long as I can argue that I didn't.

But then today I saw his score on my final paper. Dude gave ma C. Now is this such a crime? Nah. Maybe he just hated my paper despite never getting below a B on a paper in the past 5 years. But sure.

However, there's a catch. He allowed anyone to send him the paper ahead of time, get his feedback and make changes before final submission. Cool!

So I sent it off, and he wrote back saying it was a good paper, and looked good. Told me to make a few minor changes, which I did, all of them. Then he gives me a C.

NOW I'm pissed. That is not cool. You don't say it's good and then mark me off for stuff you never mentioned before.


Prettttttty close to killing Jay right now.

 
This guy can go eat a bag. Yeah that's futzing ridonkulous Adami. From my perspective, plagiarism isn't on the table in doctorate programs. But for this guy to look to fail people, when people do well, is a failure on him. I always take teaching and instructing as if people cannot pass or do well, that's my fault for not making is understandable as possible. This is all beyond that for this guy from the sounds of it. And I never get that how some professors take pride in X% of people fail my class.

Did this guy just get denied tenure or something, and is taking it out on everyone?

[Adami]

Oh yea, so he is not even a licensed psychologist yet. He graduated not too long ago but hasn't taken the exam yet.

And this is his first year teaching and they made him a core faculty. Dude has never taught a day in his life and he became a core faculty for a doctoral level psychology program?

I didn't even mention just how awful of a teacher he is and that we had no choice but to take him. We all took him last semester too and filed a ton of complaints against him for his teaching. Dude is untouchable for some reason. No idea why.

[JayOctavarium]

Fuck that dude. Seriously.

[Adami]

Fuck that dude. Seriously.

With a razor lined dildo? Sure!


So in 9 days I have a disciplinary meeting to determine what happens.

This COULD result in me failing the test, losing 5000 dollars in aid that I wouldn't have had to repay, having to stay in school another year to retake the class (presumably with the same teacher), and lose the possibility of an APA approved internship, thus essentially ruining my entire academic future.

Thanks dude. Glad you feel powerful now.

[Enitan]

Is it really true that medical marijuana can help you combat stress? I have been reading some of this article that marijuana can help them cope with stress and it helps them relax. I haven't tried using marijuana but i plan to to help me with my stress but i dont know where to start. Can anyone give me any info that can help? Thanks!!

[lonestar]

Interesting first post...


I'd say it's against the forum rules to seek advice concerning illicit drugs, but I'm in Cali and weed is legal here now, so I guess it isn't illicit anymore.

[The Curious Orange]

Is it really true that medical marijuana can help you combat stress? I have been reading some of this article that marijuana can help them cope with stress and it helps them relax. I haven't tried using marijuana but i plan to to help me with my stress but i dont know where to start. Can anyone give me any info that can help? Thanks!!

It's like booze - having a drink with a few friends at a bar or at a party is a great idea and a wonderful social lubricant. If you're drinking every day, or when you're alone, or to cope with the stresses of the day, then you've got a problem.
The fact you say you're thinking of it as a way to combat stress makes me say don't. Make time to relax and de-stress. Try listening to some relaxing music, have a nice mug of warm milk, have a long soak in a hot bath. Hell, try the old "gentleman's one-handed relaxation technique". They're all better ways to relax and de-stress.
The fact you asked the question means you already know the answer.

[Dave_Manchester]

Fuck that dude. Seriously.

With a razor lined dildo? Sure!


So in 9 days I have a disciplinary meeting to determine what happens.

This COULD result in me failing the test, losing 5000 dollars in aid that I wouldn't have had to repay, having to stay in school another year to retake the class (presumably with the same teacher), and lose the possibility of an APA approved internship, thus essentially ruining my entire academic future.

Thanks dude. Glad you feel powerful now.

What was the outcome of this story? What happened at the disciplinary meeting?

I once worked with a guy who sounds similar to the one you descibed. Full of issues and fears, which he 'fought' against by manipulating people through the silly positions of 'authority' he would covet.

[Stadler]

Is it really true that medical marijuana can help you combat stress? I have been reading some of this article that marijuana can help them cope with stress and it helps them relax. I haven't tried using marijuana but i plan to to help me with my stress but i dont know where to start. Can anyone give me any info that can help? Thanks!!

It's like booze - having a drink with a few friends at a bar or at a party is a great idea and a wonderful social lubricant. If you're drinking every day, or when you're alone, or to cope with the stresses of the day, then you've got a problem.
The fact you say you're thinking of it as a way to combat stress makes me say don't. Make time to relax and de-stress. Try listening to some relaxing music, have a nice mug of warm milk, have a long soak in a hot bath. Hell, try the old "gentleman's one-handed relaxation technique". They're all better ways to relax and de-stress.
The fact you asked the question means you already know the answer.

Yeah, I agree with this.  If I came on here and said "yeah, having a rough patch - kids, wife, job - and thinking of pounding a fifth of vodka or scotch, which would you go with?"  I'd hope at least one kind, rational soul says "Hey, look, enjoy your liquor but you might want to rethink your strategy here...".   

Fix your stress, don't just put a bandaid on it.