Not as much pissed off but nervous as fuck. Starting this new job in 5 days. I'm scared shitless that I am going to fuck it up and wind up with nothing.
This is probably a natural reaction for a good number of people. I know it is for me. I wish I had the answer, but it just might be the way we are built.
Is this a job (public sector?) that has responsibilities that you have experience and training in or did you challenge yourself by aiming above your comfort zone? Those can be some of the most rewarding jobs. Push yourself extremely hard the first 2 to 4 weeks. Take work home or learn relative skills while off the clock (assuming that is possible, which it almost always is). If you are gonna go down, go down swinging. But odds are, you won't go down. You will either a) outright impress your superiors with your output or b) impress your superiors with your dedication giving them hope that any reduced output will soon be corrected and most likely surpassed.
basically keeps telling me I am going to fail and keeps saying this is a bad idea.
Panda says this? Maybe she's afraid your new paycheck and new peers will put her on the outside? But still, that's messed up. Even when I think somebody is making a mistake, once they've made that decision, you go into support mode. And not just with "thatta boy" and "you can do it". Tell them why they can make it happen. I'd tell her she not only isn't helping, but she better stop it or whatever relationship you have isn't going to work out.
Benefits. Opprotunities for advancement. starting at almost twice my pay. How the FUCK do I not take the job? I know it's not going to be glamorous.. but it's going to be worht it in the long run... right?
What is the job? (if you don't want to get into specifics, I understand)
ANd I am also still fucking bummed (see lonely hearts thread) that the ONE girl who has shown ANY interest in me lately is my brother's ex. (Also going through a divorce and has a kid)... but still.. It's fucking wiht my head..
I'd put that out of your mind. There are too many women out there to even entertain a sibling's ex. This is what you take from it. Her interest is a result of her getting to know you. That says more about you than her. It means you will find somebody with genuine interest if you get in enough relationships that allow them to get to know you. Not just when a group is out at dinner or an event. But when you are just hanging out "doing nothin'" and everybody becomes more honest/real and less "party switch on".
My humble advice is
a) kick ass at this new job by putting in the dedication (especially off the clock) the first few weeks or however long it takes for your peers to at least say "you're doing a good job" (in a meaningful, not obligatory way)
b) Resist the urge to spend this extra money. Maybe set aside a couple hundred dollars for some kind of reward, but then consider anything above bill payment "reserve build up"
c) If you have any serious debt, attack highest interest/fee/penalty first.
d) If you have the ability to talk shop with peers that aren't in your direct department or job description, make that a "relationship" priority. Nothing impresses an employer more than an employee that not only has their job description / productivity down, but an understanding beyond it, which usually leads to innovation development.
e) Once that reserve is built up, bills are handled and budget in check, set up a relatively big reward. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it is something you really want (within reason). Then get right back into building that reserve. Why stop at 6 months? Make it 7. Maybe one day it will be up to 3 years which could be seed money for that business you always wanted to start.
f) That *one* chick suddenly notices your new found happiness and Panda/Ex-brother wife becomes the "I can't believe I settled on that" chick.
Honestly, your doors are opening. I'm jealous.
Topic: The Depressed/Angry Thread. (Read 254529 times)
