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General => Archive => Political and Religious => Topic started by: Omega on July 08, 2012, 08:27:33 PM

Title: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Omega on July 08, 2012, 08:27:33 PM
Browsing through the interwebs on this fine night, I came across an article critical of same-sex marriage which happened to be articulated through a completely secular viewpoint. The article makes quite a convincing and powerful case against same-sex marriage, so do give it a thorough and fair read. The author, as I understand it, is apparently an atheist as well. Let me know your thoughts on the article. I'll also add that I noticed some spelling errors on my first read, so beware!


Adam Kolasinksi

            Homosexual relationships do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason to grant them the costly benefits of marriage.

The Tech, Volume 124, Number 5
Tuesday, February 17, 2004


The debate over whether the state ought to recognize gay marriages has thus far focused on the issue as one of civil rights. Such a treatment is erroneous because state recognition of marriage is not a universal right. States regulate marriage in many ways besides denying men the right to marry men, and women the right to marry women. Roughly half of all states prohibit first cousins from marrying, and all prohibit marriage of closer blood relatives, even if the individuals being married are sterile. In all states, it is illegal to attempt to marry more than one person, or even to pass off more than one person as one's spouse. Some states restrict the marriage of people suffering from syphilis or other venereal diseases. Homosexuals, therefore, are not the only people to be denied the right to marry the person of their choosing.

I do not claim that all of these other types of couples restricted from marrying are equivalent to homosexual couples. I only bring them up to illustrate that marriage is heavily regulated, and for good reason. When a state recognizes a marriage, it bestows upon the couple certain benefits which are costly to both the state and other individuals. Collecting a deceased spouse's social security, claiming an extra tax exemption for a spouse, and having the right to be covered under a spouse's health insurance policy are just a few examples of the costly benefits associated with marriage. In a sense, a married couple receives a subsidy. Why? Because a marriage between to unrelated heterosexuals is likely to result in a family with children, and propagation of society is a compelling state interest. For this reason, states have, in varying degrees, restricted from marriage couples unlikely to produce children.

Granted, these restrictions are not absolute. A small minority of married couples are infertile. However, excluding sterile couples from marriage, in all but the most obvious cases such as those of blood relatives, would be costly. Few people who are sterile know it, and fertility tests are too expensive and burdensome to mandate. One might argue that the exclusion of blood relatives from marriage is only necessary to prevent the conception of genetically defective children, but blood relatives cannot marry even if they undergo sterilization. Some couples who marry plan not to have children, but without mind-reaching technology, excluding them is impossible. Elderly couples can marry, but such cases are so rare that it is simply not worth the effort to restrict them. The marriage laws, therefore, ensure, albeit imperfectly, that the vast majority of couples who do get the benefits of marriage are those who bear children.

Homosexual relationships do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason for the state to grant them the costly benefits of marriage, unless they serve some other state interest. The burden of proof, therefore, is on the advocates of gay marriage to show what state interest these marriages serve. Thus far, this burden has not been met.

One may argue that lesbians are capable of procreating via artificial insemination, so the state does have an interest in recognizing lesbian marriages, but a lesbian's sexual relationship, committed or not, has no bearing on her ability to reproduce. Perhaps it may serve a state interest to recognize gay marriages to make it easier for gay couples to adopt. However, there is ample evidence (see, for example, David Popenoe's Life Without Father) that children need both a male and female parent for proper development. Unfortunately, small sample sizes and other methodological problems make it impossible to draw conclusions from studies that directly examine the effects of gay parenting. However, the empirically verified common wisdom about the importance of a mother and father in a child's development should give advocates of gay adoption pause. The differences between men and women extend beyond anatomy, so it is essential for a child to be nurtured by parents of both sexes if a child is to learn to function in a society made up of both sexes. Is it wise to have a scoial policy that encourages family arrangements that deny children such essentials? Gays are not necessarily bad parents, nor will they necessarily make their children gay, but they cannot provide a set of parents that includes both a male and a female.

Some have compared the prohibition of homosexual marriage to the prohibition of interracial marriage. This analogy fails because fertility does not depend on race, making race irrelevant to the state's interest in marriage. By contrast, homosexuality is highly relevant because it precludes procreation.

Some argue that homosexual marriages serve a state interest because they enable gays to live in committed relationships. However, there is nothing stopping homosexuals from living in such relationships today. Advocates of gay marriage claim gay couples need marriage in order to have hospital visitation and inheritance rights, but they can easily obtain these rights by writing a living will and having each partner designate the other as trustee and heir. There is nothing stopping gay couples from signing a joint lease or owning a house jointly, as many single straight people do with roommates. The only benefits of marriage from which homosexual couples are restricted are those that are costly to the state and society.

Some argue that the link between marriage and procreation is not as strong as it once was, and they are correct. Until recently, the primary purpose of marriage, in every society around the world, has been procreation. In the 20th century, Western societies have downplayed the procreative aspect of marriage, much to our detriment. As a result, the happiness of the parties to the marriage, rather than the good of the children or the social order, has become its primary end, with disastrous consequences. When married persons care more about themselves than their responsibilities to their children and society, they become more willing to abandon these responsibilities, leading to broken homes, a plummeting birthrate, and countless other social pathologies that have become rampant over the last 40 years. Homosexual marriage is not the cause for any of these pathologies, but it will exacerbate them, as the granting of marital benefits to a category of sexual relationships that are necessarily sterile can only widen the separation between marriage and procreation.

The biggest danger homosexual civil marriage presents is the enshrining into law the notion that sexual love, regardless of its fecundity, is the sole criterion for marriage. If the state must recognize a marriage of two men simply because they love one another, upon what basis cant it deny marital recognition to a group of two men and three women, for example, or a sterile brother and sister who claim to love each other? Homosexual activists protest that they only want all couples treated equally. But why is sexual love between two people more worthy of state sanction that love between three, or five? When the purpose of marriage is procreation, the answer is obvious. If sexual love becomes the primary purpose, the restriction of marriage to couples loses its logical basis, leading to marital chaos.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Source: https://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1082190/posts
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Adami on July 08, 2012, 08:29:09 PM
Oh look another thread by you about this. Should be fun.


Wait, weren't you told not to post here anymore?


EDIT: Yea more of the same. "Gays can't have kids naturally so they can't get married because obviously marriage exists for no other reason than to have kids".

We've heard it.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: rumborak on July 08, 2012, 08:32:30 PM
Homosexual relationships do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason to grant them the costly benefits of marriage.

Thanks, next please. I believe we've heard enough of Mr. Kolasinksi's sad ethics.

rumborak
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Omega on July 08, 2012, 08:33:48 PM
I don't want any drama. I just want to listen to serious and fair responses to the article I provided. Nothing more, nothing less. Now, please, shall we make an attempt to discuss this like fair-minded adults, everyone?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Adami on July 08, 2012, 08:35:00 PM
Fine the article (like you) assume marriage exists for the sole purpose of having kids.


That hasn't been proven. Thus that shouldn't be taken seriously.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: rumborak on July 08, 2012, 08:38:25 PM
Unintelligent, unemployed and handicapped people do nothing to serve he state's interest of wealth creation. They should thus be denied most rights.

rumborak
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: j on July 08, 2012, 08:39:21 PM
Homosexual relationships do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason to grant them the costly benefits of marriage.

Thanks, next please. I believe we've heard enough of Mr. Kolasinksi's sad ethics.

rumborak

Yeah this assertion is ridiculous.  The over-arching question ("why should the state endorse a particular marriage") is a valid one, but this guy doesn't even attempt to substantiate his claim.

-J
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: GuineaPig on July 08, 2012, 08:55:02 PM
I like how he uses the term "propagating society" versus "having children".  It allows him to ignore all the heterosexual relationships that don't and aren't intended to have children, while implying that gay marriage is a social malaise.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Adami on July 08, 2012, 09:00:41 PM
I like how he uses the term "propagating society" versus "having children".  It allows him to ignore all the heterosexual relationships that don't and aren't intended to have children, while implying that gay marriage is a social malaise.

This brings them to the argument of "Well those people could have kids  IN PRINCIPLE". It doesn't even make sense. Apparently since most men and most women CAN have kids, then all men and all women can marry each other, even if they can't.

It doesn't make any sense and is just used to hide bigotry against gays.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 08, 2012, 09:28:45 PM
It's the same old argument we've seen a thousand times (though the author's atheism was certainly unusual given the subject matter), and the argument is no more convincing this time around. Marriage is solely about reproduction, the author argues, and same-sex marriages cannot reproduce, making them pointless.

As we've discussed in this forum a few times now, marriage is not solely about reproduction and there's no evidence it ever has been.  From a practical historical standpoint, marriage has only been about starting a family and making new members of society very recently and in developed countries, and even then there's still a prominent romantic element at play.  Everywhere else, people are basically just getting married so they can have sex without shame and are having kids for lack of contraception.  (Even from an impractical religious standpoint, marriages are more romance than procreation; Genesis had Eve created as a helper for Adam because he was lonely, after all, and not because it was necessarily important that more humans be created. And don't get me started on Song of Solomon.)  It's just affirming the consequent and fewer educated people are being fooled by it with each passing day.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Jaffa on July 08, 2012, 09:37:24 PM
I don't want any drama. I just want to listen to serious and fair responses to the article I provided. Nothing more, nothing less. Now, please, shall we make an attempt to discuss this like fair-minded adults, everyone?

I just don't see that he's brought anything at all new to the table.  My argument with his whole article is that gay couples can adopt and thus raise children and thus propagate society.  He points out the importance of a child having a mother and a father, but also admits that there is insufficient evidence to draw conclusions about how gay parenting affects a child's development.  He tries to brush the second point under the rug by suggesting that the need for male and female parents is 'empirically verified,' but he also suggests that it is about more than anatomy.  So if it is about more than anatomy, then why can't one gay parent provide 'maternal' nurturing while the other provides 'paternal'?  If it is simply a matter of parenting roles and not anatomy, then surely either gender is capable of adopting these parenting roles.  To put it plainly: I know women more manly than I am.  If not because of our organs, why am I a better 'father figure' than them? 

Not to mention the fact that not all fathers and not all mothers have the same roles in raising children.  That sort of thing varies massively on a family-by-family basis. 

And this is completely ignoring the assertion that marriage should be reserved for couples that plan to have children.  Which is a weak assertion, I must say.  I haven't been to many weddings, granted, but as far as I know, there's nothing in the traditional marriage vows about promising to have and raise children. 
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 08, 2012, 09:47:18 PM
Oh, and Jaffa reminded me of the other thing I wanted to mention.  The argument that homosexual couples can't contribute to society falls apart if we show they can adeptly raise adopted/artificially inseminated children, and I commend the author for admitting that there's no real empirical support for his position on the issue.  He resorts to a classic logical fallacy, which we can effectively paraphrase as "a lot of people think you need a man and a woman to raise a child, so yeah, it's probably true".  It's ridiculous, of course.  People are under this impression in the first place because of religion.  We will do well to eliminate the use of gender roles as arguments in our logical discourse, because nothing good comes out of pretending everybody's necessarily the same as everybody else in their gender.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Chino on July 08, 2012, 09:53:59 PM
My childhood pediatrician chose to never get married or propagate society.... We should kill her.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Jaffa on July 08, 2012, 10:07:24 PM
Also, I have to say that the last paragraph of the article is really bugging me.  I don't think I've ever seen anyone suggest that the sole criterion for marriage should be 'sexual love,' so who exactly is he arguing with there?  I mean, the paragraph seems to imply that marriage is either about children or about sexual love.  Why can't it be about dedicated and commited companionship? 
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: El Barto on July 08, 2012, 10:15:26 PM
Didn't take long for Mr. Kolasinksi's opinion to get thoroughly torched.  Here's my gallon of petrol to toss on the fire.

Not only is the assumption that gay people can't propagate society questionable, as many here have pointed out, but the truth is that calling societal propagation necessarily a good thing if it occurs with two heterosexual parents is incredibly simplistic.  His premise is that straight people raising children is a vital component of our society, and I would suggest that any people raising good children is the key (setting aside any overpopulation arguments for now), and that's not an automatic occurrence just because the parents are straight.  Lots of stupid, bigoted, self-centered straight people are raising stupid, bigoted, self-centered little assholes even as we speak.  I don't consider that a boon to society.  If we're to start basing civic considerations on the ability to add to society, then I'd say we should be looking for criteria a helluva lot better than man+woman. 

From that perspective, the entire foundation of his premise is baseless.  The fact that homosexuals can't do something that half the people screw up anyway seems like a wash to me.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: skydivingninja on July 08, 2012, 10:38:07 PM
Read the first few sentences.  Didn't bother reading the rest.  Continue with the flaming, everyone!  Anything I could add has already been said by more well-spoken people.

Also, this:
https://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3q0mkm/

:D
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: jammindude on July 08, 2012, 11:30:00 PM
I'm not taking any sides at all...honestly.   But I'm a little shocked (and for the record, I'm not exactly a n00b here...I know Omega's history, but let's be objective here).

This article *IS* being attacked with the same vitriol that the opposing side uses.   Most people here are not really articulating.    I think that, in particular, the point he brings up about having a male and female role model in the household is being completely blown off and dismissed with * PREJUDGMENT*...

As an outsider.... I think Omega (who I usually disagree with b/c I feel he's often far too antagonistic) has actually brought something from a new perspective to the table.  (I was surprised myself)   But almost none of the responses has had anything intelligent or thought out to say on the matter.   You're reacting with the same prejudice that you criticize....IMO, anyway.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: yeshaberto on July 08, 2012, 11:40:37 PM
This thread is going nowhere....

turn it around or I will turn the key
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 08, 2012, 11:44:07 PM
I don't think it's necessarily going nowhere. Omega posted an article, a lot of us found it dubious, and we've outlined pretty specifically exactly what is dubious about it.

EDIT:  Oh, one more thing!  I Googled the author's name and this (https://squashed.tumblr.com/post/426856180/there-is-no-secular-case-against-gay-marriage) was one of the first results.  It's a decent response; nothing revolutionary here, but it identifies the key problems in the argument.  I'm going to quote a section of the article which I think rang particularly true and whose objections haven't been covered in this thread yet.  Namely, A) marriage isn't just about childbearing or just about sexual love, as the article suggests, and B) if gay marriage leads to marital chaos, as the last paragraph describes, then we would have seen some of that chaos by now, no?

Quote
Quote
    The biggest danger homosexual civil marriage presents is the enshrining into law the notion that sexual love, regardless of its fecundity, is the sole criterion for marriage. If the state must recognize a marriage of two men simply because they love one another, upon what basis can it deny marital recognition to a group of two men and three women, for example, or a sterile brother and sister who claim to love each other?

This slippery slope stuff is pretty ridiculous. Is there anything wrong with the marriage of two men and three woman? If so, that’s your basis for denying marital recognition. If not, then there’s no harm done. The same goes for the more incestuous examples.

But in all seriousness, if you think that marriage is about nothing other than sexual love and children, you either aren’t married or you probably shouldn’t be married. There’s an element of stability. Of finality. There’s a comfort in knowing that should something happen to you, somebody else will take care for you. In sickness and in health. In good times and bad. And there’s a warmth in knowing that you would do the same for somebody else. The marital bond, while voluntary, is a family bond.

Quote
Homosexual activists protest that they only want all couples treated equally. But why is sexual love between two people more worthy of state sanction than love between three, or five? When the purpose of marriage is procreation, the answer is obvious. If sexual love becomes the primary purpose, the restriction of marriage to couples loses its logical basis, leading to marital chaos.

Yes. Marital chaos. Like in Iowa. It’s that secret sort of marital chaos that only manifests itself as Midwestern practicality.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: j on July 09, 2012, 12:28:21 AM
From that perspective, the entire foundation of his premise is baseless.  The fact that homosexuals can't do something that half the people screw up anyway seems like a wash to me.

As shitty a job as straight parents largely do raising their kids, it's hard to imagine that gay couples could do worse on the whole, even if they are lacking in some innate, gender-specific parental capacity.

-J
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Jaffa on July 09, 2012, 02:57:43 AM
I'm not taking any sides at all...honestly.   But I'm a little shocked (and for the record, I'm not exactly a n00b here...I know Omega's history, but let's be objective here).

This article *IS* being attacked with the same vitriol that the opposing side uses.   Most people here are not really articulating.    I think that, in particular, the point he brings up about having a male and female role model in the household is being completely blown off and dismissed with * PREJUDGMENT*...

As an outsider.... I think Omega (who I usually disagree with b/c I feel he's often far too antagonistic) has actually brought something from a new perspective to the table.  (I was surprised myself)   But almost none of the responses has had anything intelligent or thought out to say on the matter.   You're reacting with the same prejudice that you criticize....IMO, anyway.

Exactly who is this addressed to?  I feel like several of us have had reasonably well thought-out responses. 

As for his point about children needing both a male and a female role model, I thought I addressed it quite explicitly already. 

His own article states that "the differences between men and women extend beyond anatomy".  He uses this to suggest that men and women play different parenting roles, and that children need both of those distinct parenting roles.  What he ignores is the idea that a man could play a 'woman's' parenting role or a woman could play a 'man's' parental role.  As he said, parental roles go beyond anatomy - it's not that a child needs one role model with a penis and one with a vagina.  It's about behavior, about the roles the parents take in raising the child.  So if a woman can behave the same way as a traditional 'father figure', why does it matter, then, that she is not anatomically male? 

And this is setting aside any argument about whether or not a child actually does need a 'mother figure' and 'father figure'.  I'm accepting for the sake of discussion that they do need these things, and I'm only asserting that parents of either gender can play either role. 

Again: it goes beyond anatomy.  His own words.  His assertion is that men and women are inherently different in parenting styles.  I challenge this assertion.  What about heterosexual men who are just feminine, or heterosexual women with masculine traits?  Are they also unfit to raise children because they don't adhere to their gender roles?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: eric42434224 on July 09, 2012, 05:49:01 AM
It is merely his same argument against gay marriage in new wrapping. 

next.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: jammindude on July 09, 2012, 07:23:01 AM
I'm not taking any sides at all...honestly.   But I'm a little shocked (and for the record, I'm not exactly a n00b here...I know Omega's history, but let's be objective here).

This article *IS* being attacked with the same vitriol that the opposing side uses.   Most people here are not really articulating.    I think that, in particular, the point he brings up about having a male and female role model in the household is being completely blown off and dismissed with * PREJUDGMENT*...

As an outsider.... I think Omega (who I usually disagree with b/c I feel he's often far too antagonistic) has actually brought something from a new perspective to the table.  (I was surprised myself)   But almost none of the responses has had anything intelligent or thought out to say on the matter.   You're reacting with the same prejudice that you criticize....IMO, anyway.

Exactly who is this addressed to?  I feel like several of us have had reasonably well thought-out responses. 

As for his point about children needing both a male and a female role model, I thought I addressed it quite explicitly already. 

His own article states that "the differences between men and women extend beyond anatomy".  He uses this to suggest that men and women play different parenting roles, and that children need both of those distinct parenting roles.  What he ignores is the idea that a man could play a 'woman's' parenting role or a woman could play a 'man's' parental role.  As he said, parental roles go beyond anatomy - it's not that a child needs one role model with a penis and one with a vagina.  It's about behavior, about the roles the parents take in raising the child.  So if a woman can behave the same way as a traditional 'father figure', why does it matter, then, that she is not anatomically male? 

And this is setting aside any argument about whether or not a child actually does need a 'mother figure' and 'father figure'.  I'm accepting for the sake of discussion that they do need these things, and I'm only asserting that parents of either gender can play either role. 

Again: it goes beyond anatomy.  His own words.  His assertion is that men and women are inherently different in parenting styles.  I challenge this assertion.  What about heterosexual men who are just feminine, or heterosexual women with masculine traits?  Are they also unfit to raise children because they don't adhere to their gender roles?


It was addressed to everyone...but I did attempt to use qualifiers like "most" and "almost" to exempt those who had given thought out responses. 
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Adami on July 09, 2012, 07:32:46 AM
Jammin, no one responded with prejudice. It's just that we've had pages of this exact same debate before. So this isn't a new argument to us it's just omega repeating it but thinking its better this time because an atheist said it. No one here is being prejudiced and most of the responses are being logical. Perhaps you just agree with omega in this case and don't agree with us.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Scheavo on July 09, 2012, 11:05:51 AM

Jammin, no one responded with prejudice. It's just that we've had pages of this exact same debate before. So this isn't a new argument to us it's just omega repeating it but thinking its better this time because an atheist said it. No one here is being prejudiced and most of the responses are being logical. Perhaps you just agree with omega in this case and don't agree with us.
Ya, I don't really see how the authors beliefs matter one bit. It's a fallacy to think the source of an argument matters, and it seems to me that the arguments being given by this atheists are the same one's we've heard.

Quote from: EB
Lots of stupid, bigoted, self-centered straight people are raising stupid, bigoted, self-centered little assholes even as we speak. 

Ugh, thanks for reminding me.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: PlaysLikeMyung on July 09, 2012, 11:56:24 AM
my opinion of omega hasn't changed
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: bosk1 on July 09, 2012, 12:30:04 PM
Oh look another thread by you about this. Should be fun.


Wait, weren't you told not to post here anymore?


EDIT: Yea more of the same. "Gays can't have kids naturally so they can't get married because obviously marriage exists for no other reason than to have kids".

We've heard it.

Please leave the modding to the mods.  There's no reason for this kind of post whatsoever.

my opinion of omega hasn't changed

Same with this.  I think the rules about personal attacks are pretty clear.  There is no reason you need to post something like this about a forum member rather than responding to the article itself.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: eric42434224 on July 09, 2012, 12:42:24 PM
But this thread IS the exact same topic that caused so much trouble, and got one poster banned (temporarily it seems).
I cant see the reason this thread was created other than re-igniting that same debate.
JMO, but I can certainly understand why some in this thread are posting about, or at, the thread starter for the reason I stated.
It seems clear that this thread, JMO of course, needs to be locked, as at the very least is a topic that already exists elsewhere,  was a topic that was obviously disruptive, and in some's opinion, is now an attempt to re-ignite a flame fest.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Omega on July 09, 2012, 12:51:54 PM
I suppose I'll respond at length with my reactions to the article as well. Afterward, I'll more or less let the thread be, perhaps with a few exceptions. This will likely get quite lengthy, so please bare with me. I write my thoughts on this as sincerely and as diplomatically as I am able to. So please, I only ask you to respond to this (if you so chose to) with the same courtesy and fair-mindedness that I hope to write this with. As I said, I don't want any drama:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________


The state (or governing authority, etc) recognizes, supports, and grants both financial and legal benefits to couples of the opposite sex united in marriage because the state recognizes the obvious: that marriage as traditionally understood between a man and a woman provides a social, financial and cultural forum for men and women to channel their own biological drives in unity with their shared love to produce the most biologically, culturally and emotionally well-nurtured children under the guidance and care of a loving couple. The state is aware that such a union between a man and a woman will not only provide children for the next generation of society and its continuation, but will also provide children who have been raised in the most ideal social unit, nurtured biologically, culturally, and emotionally with a mother and a father to act as role models of both sexes, united in love through the unitive action of procreation. Is having children the only purpose of marriage? No. As I said, there are other responsibilities and purposes attached to marriage, including the cultural, biological, and emotional nurturing of children, and further subordinate purposes such as the sharing of love of the man and woman united in marriage. But one would be gravely mistaken to confuse the subordinate purposes of marriage with its main and most important purpose: the creating and nurturing of the next generation of society.

So why does the state not extend the benefits and responsibilities of marriage to members of the same sex, or brothers and sisters, or fathers and daughters? Because the state does not recognize nor does it have the obligation to recognize relationships in which two people simply love each other. Brothers and sisters usually develop strong bonds. They love one another and often have deep, meaningful relationships that can last a lifetime. Their commitment to one another is significant. But they can’t marry one another. Though they love each other, they state won’t recognize their relationship. The same is true of two brothers or two sisters. I have a male friend who I’ve known for over a decade. We have a long-term, committed relationship. We talk every week, we make sacrifices to visit one another, and we’re there to meet each others' needs. We’re not sexually involved, but I routinely say I love him and he says the same to me. I can’t marry him even though he’s someone I love. I’m restricted. The state won’t recognize our relationship.

Fathers and daughters also have long-term, committed relationships. There’s a special bond between them that develops and lasts for years. Fathers often say that the love they feel towards their daughter has a unique texture to it. They often say that it's taught them an aspect of love that, until they had a daughter, they never experienced. There are things that they’ve done and would do for their daughter that virtually no one else on the planet can make me do. And like many fathers and daughters, their special relationship could last half a century or more. But guess what? The state doesn’t care about them as a couple. It doesn’t matter how much they love each other. They can’t get married.

There are dozens of more examples of pairs of people who develop strong, meaningful, and long-term relationships. These people love each other, but that doesn’t mean the state is required to recognize them within the definition of marriage. So what do all these relationships (and many others) have in common? None of them produce the next generation. Committed male friends, siblings, and parent-child relationships don’t have kids.

There is one kind of couple that, throughout all of human history, is known to produce children: heterosexuals. Long-term, monogamous, heterosexual unions as a group and by nature produce the next generation. They create families that become the building blocks of civilization. These families are the most stable and advantageous environment for raising children. They not only stabilize society, they make society possible. That role can’t be underestimated.

Notice that I said, “as a group and by nature.” As a group, heterosexual couples have kids. There may be exceptions, but the group’s tendency is to produce children. Laws are designed to generalize for the group. “By nature” is a reference to the fact that heterosexual unions produce children by the natural function of their sexual activity. Unlike male friends, siblings, and other relationship couples, it is biologically natural for heterosexuals to produce children.

The government, that normally has a hands-off policy to most relationships, gets involved in sanctioning these long-term, heterosexual unions. It creates a group of privileges and protections for these male-female couplings because it recognizes their role in creating and stabilizing society.

But the government doesn’t get involved in any other relationship pair. It doesn’t legally sanction two male friends, siblings, or father-daughter relationships. That’s because, though there are exceptions, they don’t as a group and by nature produce the next generation. They might love each other -- deeply and for a long period of time -- but that is irrelevant to the government. The state has a concern to perpetuate and protect our civilization and that explains its vested interested in heterosexual unions.

So why does the government not sanction the relationship of two homosexual males? For the same reason it doesn’t sanction the relationship of male friends, siblings, or a father and daughter. Homosexual couples don’t as a group and by nature produce the next generation. Although, theoretically, homosexuals can adopt, this is the exception. Most same-sex lovers don’t pursue parenting. Furthermore, children don’t naturally result from their sexual activity.

Instead, the state must intervene and grant them children. Same-sex couples cannot have children. Someone must give them a child or at least half the genetic material to create a child. The state must detach the parental rights of the opposite-sex parent and then attach those rights to the second parent of the same-sex couple. The state must create parentage for the same-sex couple. For the opposite-sex couple, the state merely recognizes parentage.

A common objection is that marriage can’t be about children because not all married couples have kids. First, although that’s true, every child has a mother and father and a right to know them. These children have a vested interest in the union and stability of their parents. But that’s not something they can protect. Society needs to secure that right for kids so far as we are able.

Second, even if some marriages don’t produce children, it doesn’t nullify the natural tie of marriage to procreation. The purpose of marriage remains regardless of whether married couples actualize it or not. Books are meant to be read even if they collect dust on a bookshelf.

Third, marriages create the optimal environment for raising children. Same-sex marriage intentionally creates the condition where a child is denied their mother or father or both. This is not healthy, a claim that has been long noted by researchers. Decades of published research in psychology, social science, and medicine demonstrate that children do best when raised by a mother and father (especially the biological parents) in a long-term marriage. That’s because a mother and a father each provide a unique and important contribution to their role as parents. Children who are raised, for example, in fatherless families suffer, on average, in every measure of well-being. They have higher levels of physical and mental illness, educational difficulties, poverty, substance abuse, criminal behavior, loneliness, and physical and sexual abuse.

At this point, many of you are likely to respond with: “Isn’t it better for a child to be adopted by a gay couple than to not be adopted at all?” which will be accompanied with two loaded scenarios:

    * Scenario A: The child lives in an institution, is routinely neglected, given poor nutrition, and often physically and sexually abused.
    * Scenario B: The child lives with two loving women who are lesbians, who have stable jobs, live in a house, and have lots of family in the area.

    "Wouldn’t it be better for the child to be adopted by the lesbians and grow up under scenario B?"

Well, sure, when you construct the options that way, who will argue with you? I guess the child would be better off with the lesbians. So what’s that prove? Nothing.

I could construct two scenarios in a different way. What if the lesbians didn’t have a stable relationship, couldn’t keep steady jobs, experienced domestic violence in their home, and often used drugs. The other adoptive option was a married heterosexual couple (one a doctor and the other a teacher), who lived in the same home for 18 years, and who had already adopted a child.

Given those two options, wouldn’t it be better for the child to be adopted by the heterosexual couple? Sure, but what does that prove? Only that you can construct any combination of scenarios designed to prove that a certain set of people would be better parents.

But you don’t determine public policy based on the exception or extreme case. For example, there might be some instances when it’s justified to run a red light – like rushing a dying person to the emergency room – but that doesn’t mean we should make running red lights legal. That’s bad public policy.

Often one who is raised by same-sex parents will argue that his same-sex parents did a fine job of raising him. Maybe they did, but you can’t generalize one’s person’s experience for an entire group of people. Just because two homosexuals were able to raise a healthy, well-adjusted child (assuming they did), that doesn’t mean homosexual couples – as a group – make the best parents.

Many single fathers have to raise children by themselves. They do the best they can given their circumstances. I’m sure some of these children will also declare themselves to be just fine. But does that mean we should promote single male adoption?

The real question is whether a child who needs to be adopted is best served by a heterosexual couple or a homosexual couple -- all things being equal. The question focuses on the needs of the child, not the wants of homosexuals who are politically motivated to normalize same-sex marriage and parenting.

The answer, again, is straightforward: decades of published research in psychology, social science, and medicine demonstrate that children do best when raised by a mother and father (especially the biological parents) in a long-term marriage.

Homosexual adoption, by design, will deny a child either a mother or father every time. By legalizing same-sex parenting, society declares by law that mothers and fathers are interchangeable. That means a mother offers no unique contribution to a child. A man could provide all the benefits of a woman.

Besides being counterintuitive, this deprives a son or daughter the distinctive benefits of being raised by both sexes. A compassionate and moral society comes to the aid of motherless or fatherless children. We don’t intentionally design families to deny children a mother or father. But that’s the result of same-sex parenting. Glenn Stanton and Bill Maier explore this idea and the suggestion that merely two loving adults are all that’s needed to raise kids: “The two most loving mothers in the world can’t be a father to a little boy. Love can’t equip mothers to teach a little boy how to be a man. Likewise, the two most loving men can’t be a mother to a child. Love does little to help a man teach a little girl how to be a woman. Can you imagine two men guiding a young girl through her first menstrual cycle or helping her through the awkwardness of picking out her first bra? Such a situation might make for a funny television sitcom but not a very good real-life situation for a young girl.” And these are just a few of the absurdities that arise when you jettison the commonsense notion that men and women are both unique and valuable in their role as parents.

Lastly, I'm inclined to concur with the author of the article in question with regards to the position that marriage is, nowadays, resulting in divorce and resulting in terrible parenting and raising of children precisely because the natural tie to procreation within marriage has been so downplayed and cast aside. Marriage nowadays is seen through a selfish lens by couples entertaining it. They seek marriage for selfish reasons and motivations to make themselves happy, all the while forgetting the main purpose of marriage which is enshrined in the notion of providing for the the good of the children and the next generation under a stable, loving, nurturing and unitive union between a man and a woman. Such a radical and selfish new re-conception of marriage is precisely what is to blame, I think, for many of the social difficulties which have become so commonplace today.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: El Barto on July 09, 2012, 01:09:26 PM
Possibly the longest post I've seen in P/R.  Wow.

I see a lot of circular reasoning in there, and like I said before, the entire thing is built on a fundamentally flawed premise.  I'm not feeling particularly logical at the moment, and I'm sure others will come along and fill in the blanks anyway, so I'll leave it at that.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: rumborak on July 09, 2012, 01:11:58 PM
A former boss of mine was particularly fond of the term "mental masturbation" for idle philosophizing that had long lost the sight of the overall picture. I can't say that term didn't immediately pop into my mind when reading several posts here.

rumborak
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: eric42434224 on July 09, 2012, 01:12:08 PM
Am I missing something here?

A thread (this thread) has been started that's:
1) on a topic that is currently the topic of another thread.
2) by a poster that was banned (albeit temp) for his actions on said topic.

The poster had, in the original thread, ad nauseum, stated his premise and argument on the topic.
The majority of the posters disagreed on the premise, and therefore arguement, as it had no historical or factual basis.
The original thread went on with the poster banned......


Yet here we are again, with a thread stating the same premise and arguement?

 :huh:


Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: rumborak on July 09, 2012, 01:20:11 PM
Whether justified or not, it's pretty obvious everybody here is rather tired of seeing the flawed premises and reasoning regurgitated once again.

rumborak
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Adami on July 09, 2012, 01:23:04 PM
Some points about the argument and not about Omega.

1. You can't use the axiom that marriage's main purpose (not the only one) is to propagate society when you can't prove it other than saying "Well it obviously is". The sky is obviously blue, marriage isn't obviously for the main purpose of furthering society.

2. You can't compare homosexual relationships to you and your buddy. Are you and your buddy gay and in love with each other with plans to live together and commit your lives to one another? Didn't think so, they aren't the same thing and to be honest, saying a homosexual relationship is no different than a friendship between straight people is rather insulting to a whole group of underrepresented people.

3. Sure you can say that it's better for a heterosexual couple to adopt than a homosexual couple, and you can even use whatever logic you want on that. However that whole "is it better to leave them in an institution or let them be adopted by a same sex couple" isn't a random made up scenario. Right now there are currently over 500,000 children that aren't being adopted. The odds of 100% of those children being adopted by a heterosexual couple are 0. So by blocking homosexual couples from being able to adopt, you're making sure a lot of those kids STAY in orphanages. If heterosexual couples were going to adopt all of those kids, then there wouldn't be a problem.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: bosk1 on July 09, 2012, 01:25:16 PM
Am I missing something here?

A thread (this thread) has been started that's:
1) on a topic that is currently the topic of another thread.
2) by a poster that was banned (albeit temp) for his actions on said topic.

The poster had, in the original thread, ad nauseum, stated his premise and argument on the topic.
The majority of the posters disagreed on the premise, and therefore arguement, as it had no historical or factual basis.
The original thread went on with the poster banned......


Yet here we are again, with a thread stating the same premise and arguement?

(1) He is putting a slightly different spin on the topic by arguing it strictly from a secular standpoint, and (2) He is brining new evidence to the table (the topic of this thread is, primarily, the article, which was NOT discussed in the prior thread).  Yeah, in many respects, it IS a duplicate topic.  But I think in this case, it's actually better that he started a new thread.  He is trying to bring out a particular aspect of the argument that is different than the general topic of the other thread.  And while this will likely go off track a bit and turn into the more general discussion on same sex marriage and homosexuality, that's just kind of the nature of P/R.  It's always a judgment call as to whether to allow something to stand alone or be merged into other discussion, and it's not always an easy call.  But this is far from the first time we've had more than one thread on very similar topics.  So far, Omega isn't doing anything against the rules in this thread.  So the options on the part of other people posting in the thread are (1) post on topic, or (2) don't respond to the thread.  It's not that hard. 
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: rumborak on July 09, 2012, 01:31:43 PM
3. Sure you can say that it's better for a heterosexual couple to adopt than a homosexual couple, and you can even use whatever logic you want on that. However that whole "is it better to leave them in an institution or let them be adopted by a same sex couple" isn't a random made up scenario. Right now there are currently over 500,000 children that aren't being adopted. The odds of 100% of those children being adopted by a heterosexual couple are 0. So by blocking homosexual couples from being able to adopt, you're making sure a lot of those kids STAY in orphanages. If heterosexual couples were going to adopt all of those kids, then there wouldn't be a problem.

The argument comes eventually down to the comparison of which is "worse": Staying in an orphanage, or being brought up by a gay couple?
Apparently Omega thinks it's better to be likely physically abused than live under a gay couple.

Actually I don't think he actually thinks that. I think he's just pulling in whatever argument he can think of to rationalize his notion.

rumborak
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: GuineaPig on July 09, 2012, 01:32:39 PM
So much of the argument is simply begging the question, that it's really hard to move forward, discussion-wise, from its fatally flawed premises. 
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: chrisbDTM on July 09, 2012, 01:37:05 PM
this is just one of those issues that logical arguments will fall on deaf ears, no matter how hard you try.


btw is this other thread that everyone is referring to the one where he said marrying a person of the same sex is the same as marrying a cartoon character? haha
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Jaffa on July 09, 2012, 01:37:34 PM
But one would be gravely mistaken to confuse the subordinate purposes of marriage with its main and most important purpose: the creating and nurturing of the next generation of society.

You act like this is an accepted fact.  I challenge.

I just Googled 'traditional wedding vows' and clicked on the following link: https://weddings.about.com/od/weddingvows/a/traditionalvows.htm 

Now, obviously traditional vows have no bearing on the law.  But they do set a standard for what is covered in the contract of marriage.  When two people get married, their vows speak to what they expect of that marriage.  So if the main and most important function of marriage is to produce children, then shouldn't there be something about that somewhere in the vows? 

Quote
Traditional Wedding Vows 1:
I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Quote
Traditional Wedding Vows 2:
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

Quote
Traditional Wedding Vows 3 (traditional civil ceremony vows):
(Name), I take you to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife). Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and I will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

Quote
Traditional Wedding Vows 4:
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my beloved (wife/husband), to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life.

I don't see children mentioned or referenced once anywhere in any of those vows.  What I do see is a lot of promises between the people entering the union of marriage, promises of love and faithfulness.  If these are considered traditional vows, then surely they must reflect traditional views on what marriage is about.  Therefore, I assert that children are not necessarily included in traditional views on what marriage is about.  Traditional views dictate that marriage is about two people proclaiming their love for one another.

Again - I do not mean to imply that these vows should dictate the law.  I am simply responding to your claim that everyone accepts that marriage is about having children - I see no evidence that everyone, or even most people, views marriage that way. 


EDIT: I know I'm not a mod and have no authority whatsoever, but I don't know why anyone is bothered about this thread.  Some other thread on the same subject went bad?  This one hasn't yet, and I'm sure bosk will lock it if it does.  You're bored of discussing these points?  You don't have to post here.  What exactly is the big deal?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Adami on July 09, 2012, 01:45:51 PM
Well I posted my argument because my first post was dickish and I don't want Bosk to hate me more than he already does (can you feel the rage Bosk? Good....wel don't give in to your hate this time, wait till it's directed at someone else).


But I am sure it will either be ignored or replied to with strawmen. So with that said, unless I can correct someone else (which is unlikely) I will bow out because this will surely turn into a ban fest soon enough and I'd hate for it to start with me.


May the Bosk be with all of you.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: eric42434224 on July 09, 2012, 01:46:29 PM
Some other thread on the same subject went bad? 

Yup.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Jaffa on July 09, 2012, 01:49:29 PM
Some other thread on the same subject went bad? 

Yup.

This one hasn't yet, and I'm sure bosk will lock it if it does.

Again, not seeing what the big deal is. 
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Implode on July 09, 2012, 01:52:25 PM
In the last thread everyone just got frustrated because they never moved past Omega's first assumption that marriage is for procreation, and the thread was pages and pages long.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: eric42434224 on July 09, 2012, 01:59:26 PM
Some other thread on the same subject went bad? 

Yup.

This one hasn't yet, and I'm sure bosk will lock it if it does.

Again, not seeing what the big deal is.

You didnt experience the other thread obviously, and looks like you havent even read it.  So this is a new thread and topic to your eyes, and that being said, it is understandable for you to think this is no big deal.  What isnt understandable is to then be given information that this is indeed a continuation of a flame-fest from another thread, and to continue saying that you dont see what the big deal is.
If you want to know what the big deal is, read the other thread.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 09, 2012, 02:06:41 PM
A couple things for Omega to mull over:

1)  There is actually not as much scientific evidence for the advantages of heterosexual parenting as you claim there to be.  The author of the original article you posted concedes this; he points to one article that supports his viewpoint, but then admits that there is on the whole no reliable scientific evidence in his defense because conducting that experiment would obviously be ethically dubious.

2)  It is no longer true that same-sex adoptive couples are an exception to the greater rule.  A quick Google search pointed me to this article (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/21/adoptions-spiked-among-gay-couples_n_1023885.html), which shows that in 2009, 21,740 gay couples had adopted a child, up from about 6,500 9 years beforehand.  That's 32,751 children living with gay couples in 2009.  This article (https://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/14/us/14adoption.html?pagewanted=all) says this trend is occurring because A) we have a lot of children waiting for adoption (about 115,000), and B) because gays are seeing greater acceptance from government and adoption agencies as well as society as a whole.

Keep in mind that these figures are from 2009, which means they're probably significantly higher now should the trend have continued (a safe assumption), and that these figures are vastly lower than what they could be if there weren't legislation in place to prohibit or otherwise restrict gay adoption (which is the case for about half the states in the Union).

3)  I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but I should point out that loving relationships between homosexuals are not analogous to loving relationships between fathers and daughters or siblings.  Loving relationships between homosexuals are true romantic-sexual relationships such as you would find between heterosexuals.  Loving relationships between fathers and daughters and siblings are in all but a few cases simple family ties.  There are numerous psycho-biological processes in place to prevent that sort of relationship from progressing to the sexual stage; for instance, there's a documented psychological effect that prevents you from being sexually attracted to someone should you spend a lot of time with them or grow up with them (I forget its name, could someone help me out?).

4)  You bring up that the sexually activities of homosexuals do not naturally lead to children.  You are right, of course, but this does not make useless their marriage.  In fact, this trait is actually a boon to society.  Homosexual parenting is actually valuable because homosexual parents have to try very, very hard to get children.  Let's face it: a lot of children of heterosexual parents are "accidents", and it's safe to say that many of these "accidents" are being raised in subpar conditions because the parents were either emotionally or financially unprepared to parent.  You've said before that you're young, Omega (I've assumed you're either high school or college), so you shouldn't have much trouble thinking of a few children who would be orders of magnitude better off had their parents waited a few years to conceive, or of an acquaintance or two who unfortunately had children entirely too young.  The problem is arguably worse in urban areas; most of the parents in the projects, for instance, would probably have put off their pregnancies by a very long while if they had been able.  I could tell you horror stories about the heterosexual household I grew up in, of course, but I'm sure that's not necessary (let's just say you're talking to one of the very "accidents" I'm talking about).

On the flipside, we have homosexual couples.  They won't make babies no matter how vigorously they have sex, and this is a good thing, because they are, by definition, not raising children when they're not ready.  Meanwhile, the adoption application process is extremely rigorous and is meant only to give away children to families that are able to raise them adeptly.  Further, homosexual couples have to try particularly hard to adopt because there are so many roadblocks in place to try to stop them.  The effect of this is that homosexual adoptive couples tried really, really hard for a baby and waited a very long time for one; in other words, homosexual couples with children, generally speaking, have to be ready to raise children.  Because heterosexual couples are not held to that same requirement before they have children, one could very easily make the argument that homosexual parents are, all other things being equal, superior.

5) As I've said before, a few times, it's very common to claim that marriage exists to support procreation, but there is no evidence that this is the case, and you should provide some of that evidence for us if you're going to make an argument with such concrete social consequences.

6)  The last point you made was particularly weak, Omega, and I'm a little surprised you're supporting it with so much veracity.  I don't know why it's such a big deal that we need to teach our boys how to be "real men" in the first place, or what the two words even mean, or why a woman couldn't explain the concept to a boy if it's such a big deal.  Menstruation and bra-purchasing are not difficult concepts, and two men would easily be able to handle explaining them to the girls (and if they were truly lost for some reason, they could consult the internet or their female friends, two powerful resources).

I seem to be talking about gender roles, these most poisonous and inhibiting of social constructs, a lot on this forum lately.  Anyway, we don't need our politicians making legislation to support gender roles, or to otherwise endorse the idea that a person is necessarily the same as everybody else of the same gender.  Men can do things women can do, and women can do things men can do, and I'm sick and tired of people claiming that men can't do X, Y, and Z because those are things that would be better handled by girls, as if they possessed some intrinsic knowledge we didn't.  Half of the world is men, and half is women; in each group, there are people who would make good parents, and people who would make bad parents.

Actually, that's where we should make the divide.  Instead of labeling all couples as "homosexual" and "heterosexual", we should label all couples as being "people who would make good parents" and "people who would make bad parents", and we should make marriage illegal for the second group.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: El Barto on July 09, 2012, 02:12:12 PM
Actually, that's where we should make the divide.  Instead of labeling all couples as "homosexual" and "heterosexual", we should label all couples as being "people who would make good parents" and "people who would make bad parents", and we should make marriage illegal for the second group.
Hell yeah.   :tup
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: j on July 09, 2012, 03:28:11 PM
On the flipside, we have homosexual couples.  They won't make babies no matter how vigorously they have sex

 :rollin

"Harder, damn it!  We're trying to make a baby here!"

Quote
I seem to be talking about gender roles, these most poisonous and inhibiting of social constructs

I know this is an aside, but this is a little extreme IMO.  To some extent, gender roles are a reality.  In general, there are things that men and women, respectively, are better equipped for biologically than the other.  That is okay, and there are plenty of exceptions, which is okay too; it's not poisonous or inhibiting.  They're just generalizations, a useful but oft-misused tool that we nonetheless invoke all the time in all kinds of different matters.

Quote
Actually, that's where we should make the divide.  Instead of labeling all couples as "homosexual" and "heterosexual", we should label all couples as being "people who would make good parents" and "people who would make bad parents", and we should make marriage illegal for the second group.

I know you're not being completely serious with this fascist idea ( :biggrin:), but I was talking to a co-worker about this very thing the other day.  He pointed out that people have been raising kids since the dawn of humanity (obviously), and asserted that kids are basically weeds who will pretty much raise themselves in any environment.  There are lots of examples of people who everybody might think of as great parents or at least good examples, but who end up somehow putting out horrible brats that grow into shitty adults.  Conversely, there are some great people who come out of terrible childhoods with negative parental influence, if any at all.  But common sense tells you that if somebody's primary example growing up--their parent--is a "good person," then it's at least more likely that they'll turn out to be similar themselves.  But regardless, it's impossible to gather data about this stuff, because like you said, it would be immensely unethical and impractical to do so.

-J
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Scheavo on July 09, 2012, 03:35:05 PM
Quote
asserted that kids are basically weeds who will pretty much raise themselves in any environment.

Hmm, that about sums up my feelings about most people.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 09, 2012, 03:45:20 PM
Quote
I seem to be talking about gender roles, these most poisonous and inhibiting of social constructs

I know this is an aside, but this is a little extreme IMO.  To some extent, gender roles are a reality.  In general, there are things that men and women, respectively, are better equipped for biologically than the other.  That is okay, and there are plenty of exceptions, which is okay too; it's not poisonous or inhibiting.  They're just generalizations, a useful but oft-misused tool that we nonetheless invoke all the time in all kinds of different matters.

This is a topic for a different thread, but my response would be that while gender roles are occasionally accurate in certain limited contexts, we shouldn't be incorporating our vague ideas of what men and women generally act like into our legislation, for obvious reasons.  In my view, legislated gender roles are extremely poisonous and inhibiting, yes.

Quote
Actually, that's where we should make the divide.  Instead of labeling all couples as "homosexual" and "heterosexual", we should label all couples as being "people who would make good parents" and "people who would make bad parents", and we should make marriage illegal for the second group.

I know you're not being completely serious with this fascist idea ( :biggrin:), but I was talking to a co-worker about this very thing the other day.  He pointed out that people have been raising kids since the dawn of humanity (obviously), and asserted that kids are basically weeds who will pretty much raise themselves in any environment.  There are lots of examples of people who everybody might think of as great parents or at least good examples, but who end up somehow putting out horrible brats that grow into shitty adults.  Conversely, there are some great people who come out of terrible childhoods with negative parental influence, if any at all.  But common sense tells you that if somebody's primary example growing up--their parent--is a "good person," then it's at least more likely that they'll turn out to be similar themselves.  But regardless, it's impossible to gather data about this stuff, because like you said, it would be immensely unethical and impractical to do so.

-J

Yes, this obviously was not a serious suggestion. :lol  It's also true that it's difficult to tell what makes a good parent, and who will make a good parent before the parenting actually occurs.  My greater point is that if we're going to pretend that marriage exists for children, and that we should restrict worse parents from getting married, then we should do exactly that: find the people of all sexualities who would be worse parents and keep them from getting married, rather than making dubious generalizations about homosexuals.  Barring that, of course, complete equality would be preferable.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Omega on July 09, 2012, 03:55:58 PM
1)  There is actually not as much scientific evidence for the advantages of heterosexual parenting as you claim there to be.  The author of the original article you posted concedes this; he points to one article that supports his viewpoint, but then admits that there is on the whole no reliable scientific evidence in his defense because conducting that experiment would obviously be ethically dubious.

As I said, decades of published research in psychology, social science, and medicine demonstrate that children do best when raised by a mother and father (especially the biological parents) in a long-term marriage. That’s because a mother and a father each provide a unique and important contribution to their role as parents. Children who are raised – for example – in fatherless families suffer, on average, in every measure of well-being. They have higher levels of physical and mental illness, educational difficulties, poverty, substance abuse, criminal behavior, loneliness, and physical and sexual abuse. This is supported by multiple studies including Mary Parke, “Are Married Parents Really Better for Children?,” Kristin Anderson Moore et al., “Marriage From a Child’s Perspective: How Does Family Structure Affect Children, and What Can We Do about It?," and David Popenoe, Life Without Father, including countless other sources which all indicate that a child is best raised by a committed mother and a father. Denying the presence of a biological female mother or a biological male father to a child has been determined again and again to negatively affect a child's well-being.

Let us also examine Kolasinksi's passage carefully:

One may argue that lesbians are capable of procreating via artificial insemination, so the state does have an interest in recognizing lesbian marriages, but a lesbian's sexual relationship, committed or not, has no bearing on her ability to reproduce. Perhaps it may serve a state interest to recognize gay marriages to make it easier for gay couples to adopt. However, there is ample evidence (see, for example, David Popenoe's Life Without Father) that children need both a male and female parent for proper development. Unfortunately, small sample sizes and other methodological problems make it impossible to draw conclusions from studies that directly examine the effects of gay parenting. However, the empirically verified common wisdom about the importance of a mother and father in a child's development should give advocates of gay adoption pause. The differences between men and women extend beyond anatomy, so it is essential for a child to be nurtured by parents of both sexes if a child is to learn to function in a society made up of both sexes. Is it wise to have a social policy that encourages family arrangements that deny children such essentials? Gays are not necessarily bad parents, nor will they necessarily make their children gay, but they cannot provide a set of parents that includes both a male and a female.


Kolasinksi pulls no punches:

However, the empirically verified common wisdom about the importance of a mother and father in a child's development should give advocates of gay adoption pause. The differences between men and women extend beyond anatomy, so it is essential for a child to be nurtured by parents of both sexes if a child is to learn to function in a society made up of both sexes. Is it wise to have a social policy that encourages family arrangements that deny children such essentials? Gays are not necessarily bad parents, nor will they necessarily make their children gay, but they cannot provide a set of parents that includes both a male and a female.

And

However, there is ample evidence (see, for example, David Popenoe's Life Without Father) that children need both a male and female parent for proper development.

I suspect that what Kolasinksi means to convey when he writes: "Unfortunately, small sample sizes and other methodological problems make it impossible to draw conclusions from studies that directly examine the effects of gay parenting" is merely to note that studies that have attempted to draw conclusions regarding a homosexuals couple's ability to raise children cannot be necessarily trusted due to the fact that the selection of which homosexual couples to study or examine could be always be called into question. (For example, what criteria is being used to select homosexual couples to examine or study? Perhaps those selecting the samples are deliberately selecting high-income, stable homosexual couples and perhaps selecting random or low-income, unstable heterosexual couples. How one can determine that the conclusions reached from such a study are correspondent with reality is perhaps too difficult a task.)

Whether homosexual couples are able to raise a child effectively is not of much concern, though, when one considers not only that countless studies in psychology, social science, and medicine have consistently determined that children raised in heterosexual couples in which both the father and mother were present were being raised in the most ideal of conditions and that depriving a child of a mother or a father in turn resulted in negative consequences, be them psychological, social, or medicinal, but also that homosexual adoption, by its very design, will deliberately deny a child either a mother or father every time. By legalizing same-sex parenting, society declares by law that mothers and fathers are interchangeable. That means a mother or a father offers no unique contribution to a child. A man could provide all the benefits of a woman; a woman could provide all the benefits of a man. If such is true, then, conceivably, we should also allow single men or single women to adopt as well, considering that the role a man or a woman has been determined to be interchangeable. But surely it would be not only counterintuitive but also morally callous to deliberately design a family in which a child is deprived of a mother or a father, would it not?

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2)  It is no longer true that same-sex adoptive couples are an exception to the greater rule.  A quick Google search pointed me to this article (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/21/adoptions-spiked-among-gay-couples_n_1023885.html), which shows that in 2009, 21,740 gay couples had adopted a child, up from about 6,500 9 years beforehand.  That's 32,751 children living with gay couples in 2009.  This article (https://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/14/us/14adoption.html?pagewanted=all) says this trend is occurring because A) we have a lot of children waiting for adoption (about 115,000), and B) because gays are seeing greater acceptance from government and adoption agencies as well as society as a whole.

Keep in mind that these figures are from 2009, which means they're probably significantly higher now should the trend have continued (a safe assumption), and that these figures are vastly lower than what they could be if there weren't legislation in place to prohibit or otherwise restrict gay adoption (which is the case for about half the states in the Union).

It doesn't seem to me to be of much importance how many children are being adopted by homosexual couples when one takes into account the fact that by doing so, one is deliberately denying a child of their mother or their father and is thus committing an injustice. If anything, this simply serves to show that this particular injustice is simply occurring more frequently than we'd like to think. Again, the real question is whether a child who needs to be adopted is best served by a heterosexual couple or a homosexual couple -- all things being equal. The question focuses on the needs of the child, not the wants of homosexuals who are politically motivated to normalize same-sex marriage and parenting. That being said, and again to repeat myself, decades of published research in psychology, social science, and medicine demonstrate that children do best when raised by a mother and father (especially the biological parents) in a long-term marriage.

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3)  I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but I should point out that loving relationships between homosexuals are not analogous to loving relationships between fathers and daughters or siblings.  Loving relationships between homosexuals are true romantic-sexual relationships such as you would find between heterosexuals.  Loving relationships between fathers and daughters and siblings are in all but a few cases simple family ties.  There are numerous psycho-biological processes in place to prevent that sort of relationship from progressing to the sexual stage; for instance, there's a documented psychological effect that prevents you from being sexually attracted to someone should you spend a lot of time with them or grow up with them (I forget its name, could someone help me out?).

Why not? What is so different between the love shared by an unrelated man and another unrelated man and the love between a man and his sister or a man and his brother? Is it because there is no sexual activity between the man and his sister or a man and his brother? Why does that matter? Why do we have to use our sex organs with one another to qualify for marriage? Isn’t it enough that we love each other and are committed? Making sexual activity a requirement for marriage is principally arbitrary. Thus the defender of same-sex marriage must commit himself to the supposition that only love is a requirement for marriage. But if that is so, then there can be no basis for one to deny 3 women and 2 men who all love each other to marry, or a father to marry his daughter, or a brother to marry his sister, or a mother to marry her 2 sons and daughter. Kolasinksi hits the nail on the head here when he writes:

The biggest danger homosexual civil marriage presents is the enshrining into law the notion that sexual love, regardless of its fecundity, is the sole criterion for marriage. If the state must recognize a marriage of two men simply because they love one another, upon what basis cant it deny marital recognition to a group of two men and three women, for example, or a sterile brother and sister who claim to love each other? Homosexual activists protest that they only want all couples treated equally. But why is sexual love between two people more worthy of state sanction that love between three, or five? When the purpose of marriage is procreation, the answer is obvious. If sexual love becomes the primary purpose, the restriction of marriage to couples loses its logical basis, leading to marital chaos.

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4)  You bring up that the sexually activities of homosexuals do not naturally lead to children.  You are right, of course, but this does not make useless their marriage.  In fact, this trait is actually a boon to society.  Homosexual parenting is actually valuable because homosexual parents have to try very, very hard to get children.  Let's face it: a lot of children of heterosexual parents are "accidents", and it's safe to say that many of these "accidents" are being raised in subpar conditions because the parents were either emotionally or financially unprepared to parent.  You've said before that you're young, Omega (I've assumed you're either high school or college), so you shouldn't have much trouble thinking of a few children who would be orders of magnitude better off had their parents waited a few years to conceive.  The problem is arguably worse in urban areas; most of the parents in the projects, for instance, would probably have put off their pregnancies by a very long while if they had been able.  I could tell you horror stories about the heterosexual household I grew up in, of course, but I'm sure that's not necessary (let's just say you're talking to one of the very "accidents" I'm talking about).

On the flipside, we have homosexual couples.  They won't make babies no matter how vigorously they have sex, and this is a good thing, because they are, by definition, not raising children when they're not ready.  Meanwhile, the adoption application process is extremely rigorous and is meant only to give away children to families that are able to raise them adeptly.  Further, homosexual couples have to try particularly hard to adopt because there are so many roadblocks in place to try to stop them.  The effect of this is that homosexual adoptive couples tried really, really hard for a baby and waited a very long time for one; in other words, homosexual couples with children, generally speaking, have to be ready to raise children.  Because heterosexual couples are not held to that same requirement before they have children, one could very easily make the argument that homosexual parents are, all other things being equal, superior.

Again, the real question is whether a child who needs to be adopted or raised is best served by a heterosexual couple or a homosexual couple -- all things being equal. The question focuses on the needs of the child, not the wants of homosexuals who are politically motivated to normalize same-sex marriage and parenting. I've responded lengthily to this issue on the first point, so I'll just redirect you there. Also, again, I cannot help but concur with Kolansinksi:

In the 20th century, Western societies have downplayed the procreative aspect of marriage, much to our detriment. As a result, the happiness of the parties to the marriage, rather than the good of the children or the social order, has become its primary end, with disastrous consequences. When married persons care more about themselves than their responsibilities to their children and society, they become more willing to abandon these responsibilities, leading to broken homes, a plummeting birthrate, and countless other social pathologies that have become rampant over the last 40 years. Homosexual marriage is not the cause for any of these pathologies, but it will exacerbate them, as the granting of marital benefits to a category of sexual relationships that are necessarily sterile can only widen the separation between marriage and procreation.

I think Kolasinksi's words ring true; once marriage is re-conceptualized to meet and tend to the happiness of the couples getting married rather than to meet the needs of their children and to tend for the next generation of civilization, then the mystery as to why marriage in contemporary Western society now leads to a worryingly high number of divorces, why children suffer from pathologies related to bad parenting, etc, no longer remains a mystery. And homosexuals the ability to marry, even in defiance of the absurdity of such an action, would not solve any of those problems that trouble society today and which are largely born out of a misunderstanding of marriage, but merely intensify the problem further.

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5) As I've said before, a few times, it's very common to claim that marriage exists to support procreation, but there is no evidence that this is the case, and you should provide some of that evidence for us if you're going to make an argument with such concrete social consequences.

I'm frankly perturbed that many people are still peddling this troubling pseudo-argument against the understanding of marriage. It's really a courtesy that I'm willing to even acknowledge it. Marriage, so understood, is grounded in a reasoned inquiry as to determine its purpose and is supplanted by centuries of tradition. To insist that "it has never existed that way" or to demand "evidence" for the most reasoned understanding of marriage seems to me to signal either deliberate obfuscation or otherwise genuine muddleheadedness.

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6)  The last point you made was particularly weak, Omega, and I'm a little surprised you're supporting it with so much veracity.  I don't know why it's such a big deal that we need to teach our boys how to be "real men" in the first place, or what the two words even mean, or why a woman couldn't explain the concept to a boy if it's such a big deal.  Menstruation and bra-purchasing are not difficult concepts, and two men would easily be able to handle explaining them to the girls (and if they were truly lost for some reason, they could consult the internet or their female friends, two powerful resources).

I seem to be talking about gender roles, these most poisonous and inhibiting of social constructs, a lot on this forum lately.  Anyway, we don't need our politicians making legislation to support gender roles, or to otherwise endorse the idea that a person is necessarily the same as everybody else of the same gender.  Men can do things women can do, and women can do things men can do, and I'm sick and tired of people claiming that men can't do X, Y, and Z because those are things that would be better handled by girls, as if they possessed some intrinsic knowledge we didn't.  Half of the world is men, and half is women; in each group, there are people who would make good parents, and people who would make bad parents.

Actually, that's where we should make the divide.  Instead of labeling all couples as "homosexual" and "heterosexual", we should label all couples as being "people who would make good parents" and "people who would make bad parents", and we should make marriage illegal for the second group.

Again, by legalizing same-sex parenting, society declares by law that mothers and fathers are interchangeable. That means a mother or a father offers no unique contribution to a child. A man could provide all the benefits of a woman; a woman could provide all the benefits of a man. If such is true, then, conceivably, we should also allow single men or single women to adopt as well, considering that the role a man or a woman has been determined to be interchangeable. But surely it would be not only counterintuitive but also morally callous to deliberately design a family in which a child is deprived of a mother or a father, would it not? Besides this point, this last point ignores at least two key points. One is that, again (in the name of ad nauseum), decades of published research in psychology, social science, and medicine demonstrate that children do best when raised by a mother and father (especially the biological parents) in a long-term marriage. Second is that men and women, as has been recognized from the dawn of mankind and as admitted by the of a more genuine character, have undeniable and immutable differences, however minute or large they may be, that distinguish them, and no amount of acting, feigning or yelling "sexist" (which is no sexist claim at all) will ever change that. Our intuitions clearly tell us this is so. Men are, by the very nature of their being men, different in some aspects than women, just as women, by virtue of being women, are different in some aspects to men. And notice that this doesn't entail that one sex is "superior" than the other; all it means is that there are intrinsic, undeniable differences between men and women and that one sex is not interchangeable with the other.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Jaffa on July 09, 2012, 04:06:04 PM
a woman could provide all the benefits of a man. If such is true, then, conceivably, we should also allow single men or single women to adopt as well, considering that the role a man or a woman has been determined to be interchangeable.

We do.  Single parents are allowed to adopt children.  It's not as common, but it does happen.  Something like 5% of all adoptions are single parents, as I recall.  Don't quote me on that number, as I'm probably wrong.  But yeah, single parents can adopt children. 

I'm frankly perturbed that many people are still peddling this troubling pseudo-argument against the understanding of marriage. It's really a courtesy that I'm willing to even acknowledge it. Marriage, so understood, is grounded in a reasoned inquiry as to determine its purpose and is supplanted by centuries of tradition. To insist that "it has never existed that way" or to demand "evidence" for the most reasoned understanding of marriage seems to me to signal either deliberate obfuscation or otherwise genuine muddleheadedness.

I'm only asking for evidence because I have evidence that opposes you.  If vows aren't enough for you, consider this: if a child is found to be physically abused, child services may remove that child from the custody of his/her parents.  However, the government will not then legally dissolve the marriage of the parents - even though they have now been categorically proven to be unfit parents, their marriage stands.  I present this as evidence that marriage and parenting are independent as far as the law is concerned.

Your counterpoint?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: MondayMorningLunatic on July 09, 2012, 04:07:40 PM
Marriage, so understood, is grounded in a reasoned inquiry as to determine its purpose and is supplanted by centuries of tradition. To insist that "it has never existed that way" or to demand "evidence" for the most reasoned understanding of marriage seems to me to signal either deliberate obfuscation or otherwise genuine muddleheadedness.

Aren't you glossing over an important fact which is that majority of marriages throughout history have been polygamous? If you're going to argue for "traditional marriage" you should really be arguing for "one man + many mistresses."
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 09, 2012, 04:18:14 PM
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5) As I've said before, a few times, it's very common to claim that marriage exists to support procreation, but there is no evidence that this is the case, and you should provide some of that evidence for us if you're going to make an argument with such concrete social consequences.

I'm frankly perturbed that many people are still peddling this troubling pseudo-argument against the understanding of marriage. It's really a courtesy that I'm willing to even acknowledge it. Marriage, so understood, is grounded in a reasoned inquiry as to determine its purpose and is supplanted by centuries of tradition. To insist that "it has never existed that way" or to demand "evidence" for the most reasoned understanding of marriage seems to me to signal either deliberate obfuscation or otherwise genuine muddleheadedness.

If it's so obvious, and if everybody who could possibly argue otherwise is muddleheaded, then it shouldn't be all too difficult to produce the evidence I and others have asked for, shouldn't it?  All I need is a text showing a Western government, state or federal, recognized marriage in the first place to supervise procreation.

Keep in mind that in addition to comprehensive historical evidence, I'll also take evidence from applicable Judeochristian texts, because marriage has its roots as a religious ceremony.  If that's the case, any verse that says "you are married because it's your duty to have children, dammit, and not because you want to make a public romantic commitment to each other" or something analogous will do.

If you're unable to provide that for me, I'm going to assume your argument for the legal purposes of marriage is faulty (which I'm fairly certain is the case anyway), and we should more or less stop right here.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Super Dude on July 09, 2012, 04:32:16 PM
Can we please lock this?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 09, 2012, 04:32:59 PM
Yes, please. This forum really does live to discuss the same things over and over again, does it not?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: bosk1 on July 09, 2012, 04:33:15 PM
No.  But the next person who decides they want to play mod and decide what gets locked and who gets to post what is going to lose their posting privileges in this part of the forum.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: soundgarden on July 09, 2012, 07:12:04 PM

Homosexual relationships do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason to grant them the costly benefits of marriage.

Do you feel that a single male or single female is incapable of propagating society?  Should they not then be allowed to raise children?  My old landlord was gay raising a child; and that child is top of his class and has a girlfriend.  Gay parents raise straight kids; it happens all the time.

Every fact and facet of reality screams in the face of any anti-gay argument.  I just don't get it...
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Omega on July 09, 2012, 08:20:01 PM
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5) As I've said before, a few times, it's very common to claim that marriage exists to support procreation, but there is no evidence that this is the case, and you should provide some of that evidence for us if you're going to make an argument with such concrete social consequences.

I'm frankly perturbed that many people are still peddling this troubling pseudo-argument against the understanding of marriage. It's really a courtesy that I'm willing to even acknowledge it. Marriage, so understood, is grounded in a reasoned inquiry as to determine its purpose and is supplanted by centuries of tradition. To insist that "it has never existed that way" or to demand "evidence" for the most reasoned understanding of marriage seems to me to signal either deliberate obfuscation or otherwise genuine muddleheadedness.

If it's so obvious, and if everybody who could possibly argue otherwise is muddleheaded, then it shouldn't be all too difficult to produce the evidence I and others have asked for, shouldn't it?  All I need is a text showing a Western government, state or federal, recognized marriage in the first place to supervise procreation.

Keep in mind that in addition to comprehensive historical evidence, I'll also take evidence from applicable Judeochristian texts, because marriage has its roots as a religious ceremony.  If that's the case, any verse that says "you are married because it's your duty to have children, dammit, and not because you want to make a public romantic commitment to each other" or something analogous will do.

If you're unable to provide that for me, I'm going to assume your argument for the legal purposes of marriage is faulty (which I'm fairly certain is the case anyway), and we should more or less stop right here.

There are at least 3 reasons why marriage, properly understood, entails its purpose being that of procreation and the nurturing of the subsequent members of civilization:

1.) A reasoned inquiry into to the purpose of marriage entails that by its very nature and by its ends exists to oversee the responsibilities attendant upon procreation and the biological, emotional and cultural nurturing of offspring born into this most optimal of union (which can also be ascertained by reason) for the propagation of civilization itself. As such, marriage enjoys the privilege of being (for all-too-obvious reasons) the most important societal unit upon which all other structures of society depend and which we are accordingly obligated to protect, lest we jettison the idea of structured, ordered civilization.

2.) Countless centuries of tradition bespeak to both its basic, enduring importance in the formation and maintainment of civilization and its effectiveness in supporting a structured and ordered civilization and society.

3.) The state or governing authority accordingly extends legal, financial, societal and cultural benefits to two heterosexual individuals willing to be united in marriage because the sate recognizes both the immeasurable importance of marriage in the maintainment and formation of society and its role in the continuation of the state and, on a grander scale, of structured civilization itself.


It is only relatively recently (perhaps some 60-70 years now) that the most of Western society either forgot the importance of marriage or was tricked into a loosening of sexual morality which in turn led to the devastation of the familial unit and thus to the sexual and moral decadence and irresponsibility that the West has fallen to today. And who do we have to thank for tricking the West into its loosening of sexual morality? We have, among many other supposed "intellectuals" and "anthropologists," primarily Margaret Mead to thank, who, through sleight of hand, deliberate misinformation and, most damningly of all, wanting to rationalize her own sexual looseness wrote Coming of Age in Samoa and with that launched the sexual revolution in the mid 1900's. Her deceitful and now-tainted "research" convinced countless naive, gullible or otherwise sexually "loose" Westerners (most of whom were only too eager to rationalize their own sexual deviancy and desires themselves and soothe their conscience) that a relaxed approach to sex and an indifference towards marriage would be completely acceptable. Years later and now in the next century, the effects of the havoc she wreaked more than half a century ago continue to trouble society and it only seems to be getting worse. But I digress. That is a topic for another instance.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 09, 2012, 08:38:15 PM
1.) A reasoned inquiry into to the purpose of marriage entails that by its very nature and by its ends exists to oversee the responsibilities attendant upon procreation and the biological, emotional and cultural nurturing of offspring born into this most optimal of union (which can also be ascertained by reason) for the propagation of civilization itself.

Perhaps you misunderstood me.  What I was looking for was concrete historical evidence that the US government recognizes marriages primarily to oversee procreation, or at the very least a Judeochristian text which says as much.  It turns out that I have conducted a reasoned inquiry into the purpose of marriage, and came to no such conclusion, so you would do well either to  summarize that inquiry for me, point me to a place where you or someone else has already summarized that inquiry, or give me the concrete historical or religious evidence I asked for.

EDIT:  While I'm at it, I'll point you to Jaffa's posts, which have made a few great points.  Should a child be removed from the custody of his parents by the government, why doesn't the government also nullify their marriage?  They've proven to be as bad at parenting as Kolasinski posits that gay couples are, so why can they continue to be married?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Cool Chris on July 09, 2012, 10:29:27 PM
I think the biggest thing missing in these arguments against the notions that omega is presenting is this: Even if everything  about how the primary purpose of marriage is or was procreation is true and accurate, many people don't give a crap. But it has been that way for centuries! We don't really care. We don't see change as an inherently bad thing.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Fourth Horseman on July 09, 2012, 11:56:36 PM
This issue is not about whether gay marriage benefits the state or whether the purpose of marriage is to procreate. It is an issue of personal freedom. If you don't believe in a freedom as basic as marriage, then you aren't a true American.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Rick on July 10, 2012, 07:59:52 AM
Totally can't be bothered reading most of the posts in this thread, since the premise of the thread (the article) is rubbish to begin with, but...

Am I missing something here?

A thread (this thread) has been started that's:
1) on a topic that is currently the topic of another thread.
2) by a poster that was banned (albeit temp) for his actions on said topic.

The poster had, in the original thread, ad nauseum, stated his premise and argument on the topic.
The majority of the posters disagreed on the premise, and therefore arguement, as it had no historical or factual basis.
The original thread went on with the poster banned......


Yet here we are again, with a thread stating the same premise and arguement?

(1) He is putting a slightly different spin on the topic by arguing it strictly from a secular standpoint, and (2) He is brining new evidence to the table (the topic of this thread is, primarily, the article, which was NOT discussed in the prior thread). 

Random person's opinion =/= EVIDENCE.

            Homosexual relationships do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason to grant them the costly benefits of marriage.
Because a marriage between to unrelated heterosexuals is likely to result in a family with children, and propagation of society is a compelling state interest. For this reason, states have, in varying degrees, restricted from marriage couples unlikely to produce children.

Homosexual relationships do nothing to serve the state interest of propagating society, so there is no reason for the state to grant them the costly benefits of marriage, unless they serve some other state interest. The burden of proof, therefore, is on the advocates of gay marriage to show what state interest these marriages serve. Thus far, this burden has not been met.
 

Actually, from a utilitarian point of view, homosexuals not having kids is much better for 'society', since we live in a world of overpopulation and declining resources. Less people = more stuff to share around.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: kirksnosehair on July 10, 2012, 12:03:00 PM
I think the biggest thing missing in these arguments against the notions that omega is presenting is this: Even if everything  about how the primary purpose of marriage is or was procreation is true and accurate, many people don't give a crap. But it has been that way for centuries! We don't really care. We don't see change as an inherently bad thing.

Examples of things in society that were considered "normal" in the past, but are no longer considered "normal:"

Women could not vote

Black people could not vote

Black people could not own property

Black people were the property of white people

Native Americans were forced to convert to Christianity or be killed

People suspected of witchcraft were burned alive

We executed criminals by chopping their heads off

We executed criminals by public hanging

Some mental illnesses were "cured" by removing the frontal lobe of the brain

Some physical illnesses were "cured" with bloodletting - the practice of cutting someone and allowing a portion of their blood to leave their bodies

etc
etc
etc

There are, of course, hundreds of other items that one could list here.  They are not all 100% analogous to gay marriage, but they support the idea that as society evolves and times change so do the concepts of what is considered "normal" and what is not.  It's called progress.  Mankind has been engaged in it since we first crawled out of caves and began to assemble structures to live in and formed tribes and groups that later evolved into the societies we live in today.  If you are opposed to gay marriage, that is your right.   You have the right to be against it.  But I think your rights end where the rights of others begin.  Given the fact that a marriage between Bill and Bob effects no one other than Bill and Bob, I guess I'd prefer that we all stay out of it and leave it up to Bill and Bob as to whether or not they want to exchange vows and be a committed couple.  I don't see how it's any of MY business or anyone else's business.

The reality is this:  The era of the struggle for marriage equality is coming to a close.   Poll  (https://www.politico.com/news/stories/0512/76663.html)after poll (https://articles.nydailynews.com/2012-06-06/news/32084469_1_gay-marriage-majority-of-americans-support-new-poll) after poll (https://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/09/support-for-gay-marriage-outweighs-opposition-in-polls/) after poll (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/09/gay-marriage-polls-trend_n_1504577.html) demonstrate the very clear and unmistakable trend.  I think the civil rights struggle is the closest issue to this one...... Whether or not anyone "believes in" gay marriage, there is going to be gay marriage.  How people feel about it, well, that's pretty much irrelevant to the facts on the ground.  Gay couples are going to marry (https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/08/fashion/weddings/barney-frank-wedding-jim-ready.html?pagewanted=all), they are going to live together, they are going to adopt children.  From a legal standpoint, these marriages will, in fact, be valid.  Those people will be married.  If you're "against" gay marriage, isn't that a little bit like being "against" women or black people voting?  Think about it.  When civil rights first came for blacks, there was still a lot of segregation in the south.  They had water fountains for "whites only" and bathrooms for "whites only" etc.....even though the civil rights act gave black people the same rights as any white person, blacks were still discriminated against.   Hell, they're still discriminated against today!

I think we're seeing a very similar situation with gay marriage.  With the civil rights struggle for blacks, as time went by, society became more and more comfortable with blacks being integrated as equals.  Schools were integrated, public businesses stopped discriminating, and now we even have a plethora of interracial couples getting married and having children of mixed heritage.  Hell, my mother is 1/2 black (Cape Verdian) and half Italian and I was born almost half a century ago. 

20 years from now, I think those numbers you see in those polls I linked to will change drastically in favor of allowing gays to marry.  It tends to be a generational issue, but you'll still always have some folks who are against it, just like there are still some folks who are.....you know.....not in favor of mixed race marriages and stuff...
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: eric42434224 on July 10, 2012, 12:10:01 PM
The problem with Omegas premise and arguement are numerous.  First, there is still, after multiple threads and pages, no evidence that procreation is, or ever was the primary purpose for marriage.  Second, even if procreation was the primary purpose at one point, it is abundantly clear that the primary purpose has changed and evolved. 
That being said, it is perfectly legitimate to have a personal opinion that marriages primary purpose is procreation, and that gay marriage is "wrong" for lack of a better word.  But in the end, it will be a personal opinion only.  And one not really supported by the facts.
I think Kirk is correct.  Gay marriage is here, will stay, and will eventually gain close to full acceptance.  Eventually we will look back and wonder how we could treat people that way.  I personally look forward to that.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: bosk1 on July 10, 2012, 12:20:24 PM
Gay couples are going to marry (https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/08/fashion/weddings/barney-frank-wedding-jim-ready.html?pagewanted=all), they are going to live together, they are going to adopt children.  From a legal standpoint, these marriages will, in fact, be valid.  Those people will be married. 

I think you are likely 100% correct.

If you're "against" gay marriage, isn't that a little bit like being "against" women or black people voting? 

Not necessarily.  I think a larger number of people than you might think believe those issues have very little, if anything, in common, myself included.  However, I also think we've argued that point in other threads, and I'm trying to keep this one narrowly focused on what Omega posted, so I'll leave it at that.

With the civil rights struggle for blacks, as time went by, society became more and more comfortable with blacks being integrated as equals.  Schools were integrated, public businesses stopped discriminating, and now we even have a plethora of interracial couples getting married and having children of mixed heritage.  Hell, my mother is 1/2 black (Cape Verdian) and half Italian and I was born almost half a century ago. 

20 years from now, I think those numbers you see in those polls I linked to will change drastically in favor of allowing gays to marry.  It tends to be a generational issue, but you'll still always have some folks who are against it, just like there are still some folks who are.....you know.....not in favor of mixed race marriages and stuff...

All very true.  And in terms of the race issues, the changes both in actions and attitudes are correct ones that needed to happen.  But as far as comparing race issues with gay marriage issues, again, I (and many others) see it as apples/oranges.  I get that you (and many others) DO see them as similar issues.  Just want to point out again that that is not the ONLY view.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: kirksnosehair on July 10, 2012, 12:25:25 PM
Oh, I know it's not the only view, believe me.  I am very aware of the opposition to gay marriage and I even kind of understand it to some extent.  Yeah, the civil rights comparison isn't perfect, but it's the closest major societal issue other than maybe voting rights that I can come up with.



Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: kirksnosehair on July 10, 2012, 12:25:58 PM
By the way, I dig the shades, dude  :tup   Or are those glasses?  :lol
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: eric42434224 on July 10, 2012, 12:26:28 PM
All very true.  And in terms of the race issues, the changes both in actions and attitudes are correct ones that needed to happen.  But as far as comparing race issues with gay marriage issues, again, I (and many others) see it as apples/oranges.  I get that you (and many others) DO see them as similar issues.  Just want to point out again that that is not the ONLY view.

I wonder if the line dividing people thinking racial issues are analogous or not to the gay marriage issues are similar to the line dividing if you think gay marriage is ok or not.
In other words....
If you think gay marriage is wrong, are you more likely to think that race issues are not analagous?

Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: bosk1 on July 10, 2012, 12:40:00 PM
By the way, I dig the shades, dude  :tup   Or are those glasses?  :lol

They are special Sith hipster glasses, thank you very much.  :zydar:

All very true.  And in terms of the race issues, the changes both in actions and attitudes are correct ones that needed to happen.  But as far as comparing race issues with gay marriage issues, again, I (and many others) see it as apples/oranges.  I get that you (and many others) DO see them as similar issues.  Just want to point out again that that is not the ONLY view.

I wonder if the line dividing people thinking racial issues are analogous or not to the gay marriage issues are similar to the line dividing if you think gay marriage is ok or not.
In other words....
If you think gay marriage is wrong, are you more likely to think that race issues are not analagous?

Not necessarily.  I suspect that if it were possible to have a good data set answering that question and you Ven Diagrammed it, you would definitely see some overlap.  But I suspect you would definitely have plenty that do not fall into that overlap just the same.  No matter what you may think of my own personal views on the subject, I think you would acknowledge that there are plenty out there who oppose gay marriage who approach the subject very differently than I do.  There are plenty who are just outright hateful and bigotted who cannot articulate any argument whatsoever for their position, and it's sad to me that that kind of thinking exists and that, because of my views, I (and others who think like I do) will be lumped into that group.  But the fact is that, on both sides of ANY issue, you have people who believe what they do for reasons that are well thought out and come from decent motives, and you have those whose views are simply shaped on hate, ignorance, or other problematic standpoints.  That's life.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: kirksnosehair on July 10, 2012, 12:42:56 PM
Hey Bosk, just out of curiosity how do you feel about domestic partnerships with the same rights as heterosexual married couples?


Is it just the term "marriage" that gets you hemmed up?


I'm genuinely curious, it's not a trick question or anything.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: bosk1 on July 10, 2012, 12:57:28 PM
Hey Bosk, just out of curiosity how do you feel about domestic partnerships with the same rights as heterosexual married couples?


Is it just the term "marriage" that gets you hemmed up?


I'm genuinely curious, it's not a trick question or anything.

Must...resist...going...offTOPIC!  aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Okay, having failed...

Morally, I am opposed to it.  HOWEVER, legally, I think it has to be allowed.  Given the current state of the law and that our legal system views sexual preference as a protected class under most laws, I think the same rights have to be given.  It's a tricky issue for me, to be honest, and one where it is difficult for me to actually figure out what my position is, so it's even more difficult to provide an answer.  Backing it up a step and going to homosexuality in general, coming from a biblical view, I view the practice of homosexuality, but NOT the disposition of homosexuality, to be immoral, and I think the biblical teaching on the subject is crystal clear.  So that is the foundation I am operating from.  And there are lots of other things that are problematic in our society as well.  Living together unwed?  Yup.  Divorce for any and every reason?  Yup.  But what, if anything, should the government do about it?  Eh...I don't know.  I don't know that it's the government's business to get involved in such private issues, and I have a problem with the government getting involved.  With marriage, it is a bit different because it is the government creating a right.  But at least with "domestic partnerships," even though the government is creating a right that, morally, I do not think should exist, at least the government is not getting involved in twisting the meaning of an existing establishment that many hold sacred.  So it can avoid that problem, while still granting the same rights.  So that being said, I'm somewhat okay with it--or at least, less concerned.  Again, tough to answer, and I probably obscured things more than clarified, but hopefully you can understand what I am saying.  If anything, the difficulty I have in answering the question hopefully makes it clear how difficult an idea this is for me to grapple with.  And while I perhaps shouldn't have to offer this disclaimer, I still find it necessary to say that, no matter what one's sexual preference, gender, race, or what have you, mistreating ANY other human being is something I find reprehensible and is not something I support for any reason.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: kirksnosehair on July 10, 2012, 01:08:51 PM
Good answer, dude. 
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: jsem on July 10, 2012, 01:31:43 PM
*adds libertarian rant about how marriage shouldn't be a state function, plus removal of any marriage benefits tax wise to nullify any such discrimination*
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 10, 2012, 08:56:48 PM
Whether or not anyone "believes in" gay marriage, there is going to be gay marriage.  How people feel about it, well, that's pretty much irrelevant to the facts on the ground.  Gay couples are going to marry (https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/08/fashion/weddings/barney-frank-wedding-jim-ready.html?pagewanted=all), they are going to live together, they are going to adopt children.  From a legal standpoint, these marriages will, in fact, be valid.  Those people will be married. 

Well said.  You are 100% correct, of course.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: senecadawg2 on July 10, 2012, 10:05:47 PM
*Looks at thread title*


*Looks at OP username*


*Understands*
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: yeshaberto on July 10, 2012, 10:16:22 PM
Omega is a user here.  If you disagree with him either explain why you do or ignore it.  Anymore negative comments will result in warnings
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Siberian Khatru on July 10, 2012, 10:31:09 PM
I actually believe that marriage is a completely spiritual thing. It's about two people coming together before God, some sort of spirituality, or whatever higher ideals they subscribe to, and pledging to give eachother their best while ceasing to be mere fuck buddies.  So I disagree with this idea that marriage can be approach from a world, secular point of view. Anyone two people can have kids, and raise them together. Marriage isn't about that. It's about two people coming together and binding themselves together before some higher power or ideal.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: senecadawg2 on July 11, 2012, 01:08:37 AM
Omega is a user here.  If you disagree with him either explain why you do or ignore it.  Anymore negative comments will result in warnings

Yeah, my bad. It was not my intent to slander Omega in any way. I just feel like he is beating a dead horse.

Perhaps more eloquently:

I cant see the reason this thread was created other than re-igniting that same debate.
JMO, but I can certainly understand why some in this thread are posting about, or at, the thread starter for the reason I stated.
It seems clear that this thread, JMO of course, needs to be locked, as at the very least is a topic that already exists elsewhere,  was a topic that was obviously disruptive, and in some's opinion, is now an attempt to re-ignite a flame fest.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: El JoNNo on July 11, 2012, 08:01:58 AM
Bosk1 already address why this thread was continuing. He also gave warning to those who want to play moderator.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: eric42434224 on July 11, 2012, 08:42:20 AM
Bosk1 already address why this thread was continuing. He also gave warning to those who want to play moderator.

With all due respect to Bosk1, and certainly not trying to play moderator as I am not suggesting any course of action, but the reason this thread was allowed to continue was the new "angle" introduced by the article and author....which has not been addressed in a post for quite some time.  It has floated back to a general discussion on gay marriage, with no focus on the article. 
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: senecadawg2 on July 11, 2012, 09:18:23 AM
Bosk1 already address why this thread was continuing. He also gave warning to those who want to play moderator.

No one is playing moderator, just defending the reasoning for my original post.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: El JoNNo on July 11, 2012, 09:37:24 AM
Just giving you a heads up. The way it read it looked like you completely missed it.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: bosk1 on July 11, 2012, 10:02:29 AM
I can't say I'm thrilled about it either.  But I usually try to err on the side of trying to allow discussion by all who are interested in discussiong and are willing to follow the rules, even if topic drift/duplication occurs.  If any of you felt strongly about a topic that had gotten out of hand and wanted a second try at discussing it, you wouldn't want someone who disagreed with you to persuade me to shut it down either.  So let's try to keep on topic and keep it civil and see where it goes.  Again, if you don't like it, don't participate.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: rumborak on July 11, 2012, 10:39:17 AM
The fatal flaw in any kind of "first principles" argument (which Omega so loves) regarding marriage is that there is no *the* reason for getting married. Some people get married to have kids, but some people get married never wanting (or being able to) have kids. Some get married out of love, and some view the love part as "nice, but not necessary" (Indians have a saying "marriage comes first, love later"). Some people get married because their god commands them to, some because their parents told them to, some because everybody around them didn't want them to.
And some get married because cocaine is one helluva drug.
Any attempt for denying a group of people to marry out of reason X ignores all the other people who get married for reason Y, Z etc.

rumborak
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: kirksnosehair on July 11, 2012, 11:13:47 AM
Absolutely correct, rumbo.  I can hold myself up as an example.  My wife and I never, ever intended to have children (and we did not have any) and I am friends with at least two other couples who did not have children and specifically planned it that way.  Those marriages are no more or less valid than any other marriage.  Child rearing is but one facet of marriage, not the primary reason for it.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: soundgarden on July 11, 2012, 11:22:07 AM
Any attempt for denying a group of people to marry out of reason X ignores all the other people who get married for reason Y, Z etc.

I suspect Omega et al would claim all those people are failing as well.  There is only one "marriage" and its what was prescribed by the Christian god.

Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Jaffa on July 11, 2012, 11:26:05 AM
Any attempt for denying a group of people to marry out of reason X ignores all the other people who get married for reason Y, Z etc.

I suspect Omega et al would claim all those people are failing as well.  There is only one "marriage" and its what was prescribed by the Christian god.

Again, though, as theseoafs pointed out, where in the Bible does the Christian God say that the primary purpose of marriage is having children?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: rumborak on July 11, 2012, 11:30:09 AM
And who cares about the Christian god? My ancestors' marriages were witnessed by the goddess Var.

rumborak
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: yeshaberto on July 11, 2012, 11:43:46 AM
Any attempt for denying a group of people to marry out of reason X ignores all the other people who get married for reason Y, Z etc.

I suspect Omega et al would claim all those people are failing as well.  There is only one "marriage" and its what was prescribed by the Christian god.
t
Again, though, as theseoafs pointed out, where in the Bible does the Christian God say that the primary purpose of marriage is having children?

The only references I can think of were to Adam and Noah who were both commanded to be fruitful and multiply but this was during a time when there were few people on earth
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 11, 2012, 11:45:08 AM
Any attempt for denying a group of people to marry out of reason X ignores all the other people who get married for reason Y, Z etc.

I suspect Omega et al would claim all those people are failing as well.  There is only one "marriage" and its what was prescribed by the Christian god.

Again, though, as theseoafs pointed out, where in the Bible does the Christian God say that the primary purpose of marriage is having children?

I'm fairly certain that the answer is nowhere.  The Bible talks a lot about marriage, but it talks about the joining of two people to make one rather than the joining of two people to make several babies.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: soundgarden on July 11, 2012, 11:45:47 AM
And who cares about the Christian god? My ancestors' marriages were witnessed by the goddess Var.

rumborak

well, Christians. 

Or more accurately; what Christians think they are today in the 21st century.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: rumborak on July 11, 2012, 11:56:36 AM
You can care about it all you want; the question is why should everybody else abide by your particular aspect of marriage? I think it's pretty obvious that gay couples are not seeking to get married with the blessing of the Christian god.

rumborak
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: wolfandwolfandwolf on July 11, 2012, 12:34:51 PM
You can care about it all you want; the question is why should everybody else abide by your particular aspect of marriage? I think it's pretty obvious that gay couples are not seeking to get married with the blessing of the Christian god.

rumborak
While true for many, there are lots of gay couples that would consider themselves Christian that do seek blessings from the Christian God.

The whole idea that allowing homosexuals to be married will strip the 'meaning' of marriage away from Christians is preposterous - Christians have done an outstanding job of stripping the meaning of marriage away from themselves by having a larger divorce rate inside the church than the rest of the world.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: kirksnosehair on July 11, 2012, 02:54:56 PM
I'm sure I've posted this here before, but the concept of marriage being "sacred" by any means was definitely destroyed when we started allowing Elvis Presley impersonators to perform marriage ceremonies at drive-thru windows in Las Vegas.   :lol


thankyaveramuch....



Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: jsem on July 11, 2012, 03:44:36 PM
To be fair to Omega here, it's not about the reason people GET married. It's the reason for HAVING STATE LICENSURE of marriage. And the article talks about this, and he makes a clear point that there should only be subsidies if a marriage can actually produce children. But then, to carry this across the board, if marriage through the eyes of the State only is about producing offspring then naturally sterile heterosexual people shouldn't be able to get married either, and people who have no intention of having children though want to get married shouldn't either.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: kirksnosehair on July 11, 2012, 03:46:35 PM
To be fair to Omega here, it's not about the reason people GET married. It's the reason for HAVING STATE LICENSURE of marriage. And the article talks about this, and he makes a clear point that there should only be subsidies if a marriage can actually produce children. But then, to carry this across the board, if marriage through the eyes of the State only is about producing offspring then naturally sterile heterosexual people shouldn't be able to get married either, and people who have no intention of having children though want to get married shouldn't either.


Yeah, but the problem is, "producing offspring" is not a requirement for marriage. Period.



Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Sigz on July 11, 2012, 03:54:47 PM
But if you're going to take the 'subsidy' stance, why not just grant marriages to couples that are pregnant or already have children?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: jsem on July 11, 2012, 04:10:30 PM
To be fair to Omega here, it's not about the reason people GET married. It's the reason for HAVING STATE LICENSURE of marriage. And the article talks about this, and he makes a clear point that there should only be subsidies if a marriage can actually produce children. But then, to carry this across the board, if marriage through the eyes of the State only is about producing offspring then naturally sterile heterosexual people shouldn't be able to get married either, and people who have no intention of having children though want to get married shouldn't either.


Yeah, but the problem is, "producing offspring" is not a requirement for marriage. Period.




Yeah, which is my point. The current marriage requirements are not consistent with the author's idea of child subsidies either. However, a thing that he should be in favor of is what we have in Sweden, called barnbidrag which is a subsidy for the legal guardians of a children. They receive a fee every month for being the caretaker of a child. Perhaps necessary with such a low birth rate in Sweden if we're going to keep the pension system running.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 11, 2012, 04:13:55 PM
Furthermore, if you're going to take that stance (which has not yet been evidentially supported, by the way), we have to wonder why the US even has to pay people to have children in the first place.  People are going to have kids anyway, and why do we need more children?  Isn't the world quickly heading toward overpopulation?  Aren't we already struggling with the number of immigrants we have?  Why not give subsidies to people who don't have children?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: jsem on July 11, 2012, 04:15:36 PM
Lol, let's not get sidetracked into the overpopulation argument. Truth be told, with the pension system we have (western world that is), it's going to crumble without a big enough work force - that is an ample about of new people. That's what's so disturbing about a very low birth rate like in Japan, Italy, Greece, Spain, and several other European countries.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 11, 2012, 04:17:50 PM
It's completely relevant if you're going to argue that marriage exists to encourage childbearing and help along parents.

EDIT: Sorry, posted this before jsem had edited his message (it initially only contained the first sentence).  I'm just bringing the point up for discussion, and not necessarily because I endorse it; I've posted all my thoughts on the matter in this thread.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Vivace on July 12, 2012, 10:03:18 AM

Morally, I am opposed to it.  HOWEVER, legally, I think it has to be allowed.  Given the current state of the law and that our legal system views sexual preference as a protected class under most laws, I think the same rights have to be given.  It's a tricky issue for me, to be honest, and one where it is difficult for me to actually figure out what my position is, so it's even more difficult to provide an answer.  Backing it up a step and going to homosexuality in general, coming from a biblical view, I view the practice of homosexuality, but NOT the disposition of homosexuality, to be immoral, and I think the biblical teaching on the subject is crystal clear.  So that is the foundation I am operating from.  And there are lots of other things that are problematic in our society as well.  Living together unwed?  Yup.  Divorce for any and every reason?  Yup.  But what, if anything, should the government do about it?  Eh...I don't know.  I don't know that it's the government's business to get involved in such private issues, and I have a problem with the government getting involved.  With marriage, it is a bit different because it is the government creating a right.  But at least with "domestic partnerships," even though the government is creating a right that, morally, I do not think should exist, at least the government is not getting involved in twisting the meaning of an existing establishment that many hold sacred.  So it can avoid that problem, while still granting the same rights.  So that being said, I'm somewhat okay with it--or at least, less concerned.  Again, tough to answer, and I probably obscured things more than clarified, but hopefully you can understand what I am saying.  If anything, the difficulty I have in answering the question hopefully makes it clear how difficult an idea this is for me to grapple with.  And while I perhaps shouldn't have to offer this disclaimer, I still find it necessary to say that, no matter what one's sexual preference, gender, race, or what have you, mistreating ANY other human being is something I find reprehensible and is not something I support for any reason.

In so many ways I tend towards this thinking however I believe that no one has the right to change what is considered a natural tendency that is marriage, something that has existed before government and before religion. What frustrates me the most is that this issue is not really an argument anymore. There are two sides, black and white, and most of the world doesn't want to see the grey area you have established. At least that's what I get from this thread and the last thread and most things I see in the media, from interviews, opinion pages in newspapers, facebook and columns. Marriage to the seculars is there's to define, not the so-called "religious moralists". The marriage debate is long past the debate section and now into civil rights, liberty and right and wrong, regardless of what previous definition or meaning it may have had. It's no longer what marriage meant, but what this generation wants it to mean right now as if an older definition of marriage is archaic and must be redefined in order to conform to the current views of society. The challenge here, is what happens after its changed? Will those who fought to create this new "right" of marriage now be steadfast to hold to their definition when others come along to stake their claim at what marriage should be? For example what happens when polygomy is brought to the table? Will those who have redefined marriage not allow marriage to be redefined for these people? There are now rites that exist for those who wish to marry animals, which means this sort of practice exists already. Shall the definition of marriage be adjusted for them too? Once the camel's nose is the perverbal tent we have to expect the whole camel will eventually want to force its way in. Is society ready to make room for such adjustments now that it has opened the doors to same-sex marriage? As Bosk mentioned, the crux of this whole issue is the government buckling under pressure from society in order to change the institution of marriage and define from a secularist point of view. Of course no religious institution is going to be to stop this especially since there is a separation of church and state, however what happens if secularists force the religious side to accept this new definition and like Catholic universities who are now forced to act opposed to their moralities or pay a fine, are now forced to accept what they find immoral or pay a fine? Is the pro same-sex movement on board to force their views onto the religious sect disregarding their rights to live and act according to their morals? Is this nation willing to move in a direction that is contrary to the separation of church and state, an action already in progress with Obama's healthcare mandate that might make this separation a moot point and therefore religions must adhear to the declarations of state policy regardless if those policies are considered immoral to them?

The next few years are going to be fascinating yet fearful as right now the borders are being drawn for secularism and religious. I would not be surprised to see similar outcomes that happened between the Mormons and the United States/Gentiles.

addition: Something also just occurred to me. Right now we are seeing a growing majority of secularist authority. That is, in the past religion was the authority until the Enlightenment came where an anti-religious movement opened the doors to a secularist majority and now a secularist authority. Given that it is only a matter of time before there is another movement that is anti-secularist, how will the secularist movement defend itself in order not to be taken down like the religious majority was with the Enlightenment? In what way will this movement be defined? Will society come full circle or is the upcoming movement something that is impossible to guess? As I said, we are living in a time of transition. For better or for worse, these will be trying times.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 12, 2012, 11:59:22 AM
In so many ways I tend towards this thinking however I believe that no one has the right to change what is considered a natural tendency that is marriage, something that has existed before government and before religion.

I'd say this is a very hasty argument to make.  Both religion and marriage predate recorded history, and you couldn't say reliably that one came before the other; almost as soon as hominids got to the proverbial scene (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_religion#300th_to_51st_millennium_BCE), they had religious ideas.  This isn't to say that marriage definitely came afterward; however, you couldn't possibly support the view that marriage came before government and religion, especially since religion is (understandably) one of the first things we bothered to do.

Quote
The challenge here, is what happens after its changed? Will those who fought to create this new "right" of marriage now be steadfast to hold to their definition when others come along to stake their claim at what marriage should be? For example what happens when polygomy is brought to the table? Will those who have redefined marriage not allow marriage to be redefined for these people? There are now rites that exist for those who wish to marry animals, which means this sort of practice exists already. Shall the definition of marriage be adjusted for them too? Once the camel's nose is the perverbal tent we have to expect the whole camel will eventually want to force its way in. Is society ready to make room for such adjustments now that it has opened the doors to same-sex marriage?

A slippery slope argument, you say?  How wonderful!

Here's the rub:  we "secularists", to the extent that that is in fact a group of people who share similar viewpoints, are actually logical human beings.  There is, in fact, no secularist agenda to speak of; what we want is for everybody to have equal rights, regardless of any competing religious viewpoints.

What we have found is that marriage offers people certain economic perks; as is well-documented in this thread, you're better off economically if you're married.  This is fine, except that there's an entire group of people that can't get married by definition - homosexuals.  By the very nature of marriage, this right is systematically denied to homosexuals who want to get married, and we "secularists" think that is gross.

How will we keep from re-redefining marriage in the future?  Namely because there's no logical reason to push for anything else.  As soon as you can marry someone of your own gender, things are equal; marriage is now defined as any consenting person forming a loving union with any other consenting person, which is perfect because the right of marriage is denied to nobody.  Polygamy or animal-human marriage don't come with the package because this definition is fine, and because polygamy and zoophilia have always been illegal in this country anyway.  Even "secularists" concede that there's no reason to redefine marriage to include these things, as there's no logical or social support for them.

Also, don't be scared of re-definition.  Contrary to your belief, marriage is not some unchanging, eternal fact of life.  In fact, I recall a pretty significant change (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_v._Virginia) made to marriage not long ago which is, in my opinion, analogous to the situation we're in now.  And people didn't start having sex with goats once this decision was made, mind.

Quote
Right now we are seeing a growing majority of secularist authority.

Again, this is incorrect.  This is an overwhelmingly religious country, and our "authority" -- congress, executive branch, etc. -- is overwhelmingly more Christian than the country as a whole.  Perhaps what you're noticing is a growing acceptance of nonreligious ideas, but I'd argue that it's a good thing when people start to care more about equality than what they think their god might have to say on the topic.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: kirksnosehair on July 12, 2012, 12:12:24 PM

Quote
For example what happens when polygomy is brought to the table? Will those who have redefined marriage not allow marriage to be redefined for these people? There are now rites that exist for those who wish to marry animals, which means this sort of practice exists already. Shall the definition of marriage be adjusted for them too? Once the camel's nose is the perverbal tent we have to expect the whole camel will eventually want to force its way in. Is society ready to make room for such adjustments now that it has opened the doors to same-sex marriage?


(https://www.kirksnosehair.com/Portals/0/images/smilies/banghead.gif)


I cannot begin to articulate how frustrating it is that this....this....... *deep breath* ......this.....um......  ::)  argument ::)  .....*more deep breaths* has to come up in every thread on this topic.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 12, 2012, 12:15:23 PM
^Yeah, that too. :lol
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Implode on July 12, 2012, 12:15:58 PM
Not sure about how polygamy would work, but animals are not consenting adults.

We've been through this.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Fourth Horseman on July 12, 2012, 12:49:12 PM
Any attempt for denying a group of people to marry out of reason X ignores all the other people who get married for reason Y, Z etc.

I suspect Omega et al would claim all those people are failing as well.  There is only one "marriage" and its what was prescribed by the Christian god.

Again, though, as theseoafs pointed out, where in the Bible does the Christian God say that the primary purpose of marriage is having children?


With the freedom to choose religion also comes freedom from religion.  Non-Christian gays should not be subject to the "rules" of the bible, or any other religious scripture for that matter.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: wolfandwolfandwolf on July 13, 2012, 07:36:34 AM
animals are not consenting adults.
...hold on.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Implode on July 13, 2012, 07:39:45 AM
Not sure what's wrong with that statement...unless you're implying that humans are animals. But you know what I meant. Or are you telling me to "hold on" because that view might change in the future?
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: bosk1 on July 13, 2012, 07:51:54 AM
HE'S SAYING THAT GIANT SQUIDS SHOULD BE ABLE TO CONSENT.  :dangerwillrobinson:
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Implode on July 13, 2012, 08:01:22 AM
Well thank you for your support, but legal or not, things in that aspect aren't looking good for me.  :lol
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: bosk1 on July 13, 2012, 08:02:38 AM
Try moving to Japan.  I hear tentacles are all the rage over there.  :evilmonkey:
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Implode on July 13, 2012, 08:07:21 AM
I'm sitting here, and I cannot think of a response to that statement. :lol
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Vivace on July 13, 2012, 09:37:53 AM
In so many ways I tend towards this thinking however I believe that no one has the right to change what is considered a natural tendency that is marriage, something that has existed before government and before religion.

I'd say this is a very hasty argument to make.  Both religion and marriage predate recorded history, and you couldn't say reliably that one came before the other; almost as soon as hominids got to the proverbial scene (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_religion#300th_to_51st_millennium_BCE), they had religious ideas.  This isn't to say that marriage definitely came afterward; however, you couldn't possibly support the view that marriage came before government and religion, especially since religion is (understandably) one of the first things we bothered to do.

Our perception of marriage is to take it as it is presented to us now and find someway to fit that peg into history. We do this by making the statements: marriage is about two consenting adults. Marriage is about love. Marriage is about responsibility. But can we find some semblance of marriage outside of human reason? For example we see certain animals act in ways that have similarities to our practice of marriage: eagles that are monogamous,  mother and father species taking care of their young until the young can survive (responsibility). However we as a species define marriage beyond this by using words like consent thus limited the idea of marriage to a more rational like idea. Like Darwin who would argue that humans and animals are shown to possess similar traits in order to show a progress of evolution from the animal state to the human state, would it be a viable argument/hypothesis to say that marriage predates the moment of our reason and has evolved into something that lends itself to a more rational idea? I don't think it's a hasty argument if we want to view marriage as an evolving species, but even with this argument then I would have to concede that marriage is a trait that needs to change as we do. Here we have another question then, when does something cease to be what it original was after so many metamorphesis. For example, take a box. One day the box changes color, but it is still a box. Another day, it develops legs, but it is still a box. Arms, a mouth, a tail form and the body changes to be more of a rectangle. Is it still a box? If we can at least agree that it is no longer a box then we must present ourselves with the challenging question, if marriage is shown to exist before reason in one form and continues to evolve over time, at what point must we concede that it is no longer a marriage? Furthermore who has the right to make that claim? A box is no longer a box once we define it outside the terms of a box. The main argument with marriage is how we are defining it, but is this definition an evolution of marriage or are we trying to simply make it more clear and this new definition has always been there. I would argue the former.

Quote
The challenge here, is what happens after its changed? Will those who fought to create this new "right" of marriage now be steadfast to hold to their definition when others come along to stake their claim at what marriage should be? For example what happens when polygomy is brought to the table? Will those who have redefined marriage not allow marriage to be redefined for these people? There are now rites that exist for those who wish to marry animals, which means this sort of practice exists already. Shall the definition of marriage be adjusted for them too? Once the camel's nose is the perverbal tent we have to expect the whole camel will eventually want to force its way in. Is society ready to make room for such adjustments now that it has opened the doors to same-sex marriage?

A slippery slope argument, you say?  How wonderful!
[/quote]

A doctor comes up to you and says if you keep to your diet you will have a heart attack. Is this a slippery slope argument? A lawyer tells you unless you plea bargain you will be sentenced to death. Is this a slippery slope argument? An economist declares because the economy has improved jobs will increase in the future. Is this a slippery slope argument? It bothers me that people like to throw statements around like a slippery slope argument, straw man, circular reasoning, etc, but fail to understand how an argument which could appear as such, actually has a well formed argument past it. For example, let's go back in history to when the lady spilled coffee on her lap. If I were to say, the outcome of this legal case will now be the camel's nose in the tent opening up kinds of ridiculous lawsuits and a victimless society. Based on your conviction that my statement above is slippery slope you would have to make the same logical leap for this as well. But we know that once a precedent is made, people will move in on that precedent to open it even wider than it was before.  To declare that same-sex marriage is an equal right will lead to others asking their idea of marriage is an equal right. Polygamy is practiced today and these people want to see it legal. Just as the woman spilling coffee on her lap lead to her receiving millions of dollars led to frivolous lawsuits, the equal rights fight to same-sex marriage will lead others to fight for similar rights. How can you believe this is a slippery slope when same-sex advocates point to their fight being the same as the civil rights movement? Are we saying that the civil rights movement leading to same-sex marriage is a slippery slope argument? A slippery slope argument is only that unless the chain is completed. Because I am 37, Obama will lose the election. There is no chain of events leading to this conjecture. however because I am 37 there will be 37 candles on my birthday cake. Whether or not 37 candles appear on my birthday cake is irrelevant, the conclusion itself can be drawn from the opening statement.

Quote
Here's the rub:  we "secularists", to the extent that that is in fact a group of people who share similar viewpoints, are actually logical human beings.  There is, in fact, no secularist agenda to speak of; what we want is for everybody to have equal rights, regardless of any competing religious viewpoints.

That is an agenda, regardless if you don't want it to be. Also your argument that secularists share similar viewpoints can be related to a religious group such as Catholics who have similar viewpoints about morals and can also be called logical human beings. I never made the assertion that secularists are not logical so I would appreciate it you didn't force the issue.

Quote
What we have found is that marriage offers people certain economic perks; as is well-documented in this thread, you're better off economically if you're married.  This is fine, except that there's an entire group of people that can't get married by definition - homosexuals.  By the very nature of marriage, this right is systematically denied to homosexuals who want to get married, and we "secularists" think that is gross.

It's a fair point too, but as I stated above, when does marriage stop becoming a marriage? Governments support marriage because it supports a community. If the government wants to change their view of marriage based on the governmental idea of it supporting community they have every right to make that change. To assume this definition moves past the government idea though is like assuming American Democracy must therefore change the definition of democracy as a whole. Since that hasn't happened, I see no reason to make the government's idea of marriage the concept of marriage outside government, especially since we can establish that marriage is a part of human nature. If this is the case we can't put the cart before the horse.

Quote
How will we keep from re-redefining marriage in the future?  Namely because there's no logical reason to push for anything else.  As soon as you can marry someone of your own gender, things are equal; marriage is now defined as any consenting person forming a loving union with any other consenting person, which is perfect because the right of marriage is denied to nobody.  Polygamy or animal-human marriage don't come with the package because this definition is fine, and because polygamy and zoophilia have always been illegal in this country anyway.  Even "secularists" concede that there's no reason to redefine marriage to include these things, as there's no logical or social support for them.

I'm not quite too sure how you can openly state with confidence that because polygomy is illegal it is therefore wrong and hold onto an idea that same-sex marriage is right when it was illegal in the past. How can you justify your position if polygomy is made legal in certain states (namely Utah is my guess)? You are going to have to reconcile your position on what makes an equal right especially in the light that polygomy can be argued to be logical and a social support in a similar manner that same-sex marriage is. As you stated above marriage is now defined as between two consenting adults. What will you do if that position is yet again challenged? People are willing to go so far as to accept same-sex marriage under a certain umbrella but are unwilling to accept other like ideas under this same umbrella.

Quote
Also, don't be scared of re-definition.  Contrary to your belief, marriage is not some unchanging, eternal fact of life.  In fact, I recall a pretty significant change (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_v._Virginia) made to marriage not long ago which is, in my opinion, analogous to the situation we're in now.  And people didn't start having sex with goats once this decision was made, mind.

You forget once this decision was made same-sex couples didn't start to marry. But you also fail to recognize that same-sex marriage is an event related to this event in that most advocates such as yourself use the civil rights movement as a means to support it. That in itself provides the necessary motion for society to move in a similar direction. It may not happen for a while, however because polymogy is practiced, because there are actual examples of people marrying animals, I find it amazing that people would assume that such a case will never come up. My prediction is once same-sex marriage is legal in the majority of states, polygamy will be brought to the table. Arguments will be made for it and those who seem to be against it will have to defend their definition of marriage in the same way those against are arguing. Do you truly believe that same-sex marriage is the end all for marriage, that it cannot be changed past that? If so, how do you reconcile this with your statement marriage is not some unchanging, eternal fact of life? Can you not therefore concede that if marriage is to open up to polymogy that you must therefore accept it as an unchanging eternal fact of life?



Quote
Right now we are seeing a growing majority of secularist authority.
I'd argue that it's a good thing when people start to care more about equality than what they think their god might have to say on the topic.
[/quote]

I'm sorry but when people start to think that religion is antithesis to equality that is a bad thing and congruous to bigotry and primarily not true but due to past events I under no circumstances will have that discussion here.

Quote
I cannot begin to articulate how frustrating it is that this....this....... *deep breath* ......this.....um......  ::)  argument ::)  .....*more deep breaths* has to come up in every thread on this topic.   :facepalm:

I cannot begin to articulate how frustrating it is that this....this......*deep breath*.....this......umm...... ::) response ..... *more deep breaths* has to rear its ugly head in every thread on this topic.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Vivace on July 13, 2012, 09:50:14 AM
I want to point something out.

Quote
HE'S SAYING THAT GIANT SQUIDS SHOULD BE ABLE TO CONSENT.  :dangerwillrobinson:

Quote
HE'S SAYING THAT HOMOSEXUALS SHOULD BE ABLE TO MARRY.  :dangerwillrobinson: (I did change the word but the concept is the same)

Quote
HE'S SAYING THAT BLACK AND WHITES SHOULD BE ABLE TO MARRY. :dangerwillrobinson:

Quote
HE'S SAYING THAT NOBLES AND PEASANTS SHOULD BE ABLE TO MARRY.  :dangerwillrobinson:

History has shown that this statement in itself has always been presented. For anyone to think that we as a human race might not ever argue that animals can consent or have the ability to consent is in my mind the same ridiculous claim made back in antiquity that nobles and peasants should be able to marry. I'm not saying that I agree or that the statement itself is logical, but that the statement itself is congruous to it. In each case it was seen as completely illogical and unethical and unsocial to allow this and in each instance it was illegal but happened anyways. Most laws are made on the basis that it is to stop behavior. You wouldn't make a law that a human being cannot travel through time without a permit unless it was a necessary law. Polygamy is illegal but it is still practiced. Same-sex marriage was illegal yet it was still practiced. The practice is what led to the law and the successful removal of that law is the start of it becoming overall legal. This was the same process of events that led nobles and peasants to marriage, black and whites and now same-sex marriages. To assume that no argument is going to made now for polygomy or for animals is a bit naive. It may not happen though in our lifetime. I mean how many people are alive now when black and whites were allowed to marry back in '24? We can balk at its ridiculousness, but past generations did the same with same-sex marriage, interracial marriage and beyond.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: Jaffa on July 13, 2012, 10:23:15 AM
If there comes a time when human beings are trying to make it legal for a man to marry a giant squid, that is the time to argue about whether or not a man should be allowed to marry a giant squid.  For now, the issue is same-sex marriage.  It seems reasonable to me to focus on the merits of same-sex marriage rather than considering the merits of possible future proposals. 

Don't argue that there's a line that shouldn't be crossed, argue where the line is. 

I mean, argue whatever you want, of course.  I just find it hard to take 'if we let this go, where do we draw the line' type arguments seriously.  The question is whether or not the line should be drawn here
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: eric42434224 on July 13, 2012, 10:45:20 AM
^^^^^Good point.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: theseoafs on July 13, 2012, 11:12:12 AM
In so many ways I tend towards this thinking however I believe that no one has the right to change what is considered a natural tendency that is marriage, something that has existed before government and before religion.

I'd say this is a very hasty argument to make.  Both religion and marriage predate recorded history, and you couldn't say reliably that one came before the other; almost as soon as hominids got to the proverbial scene (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_religion#300th_to_51st_millennium_BCE), they had religious ideas.  This isn't to say that marriage definitely came afterward; however, you couldn't possibly support the view that marriage came before government and religion, especially since religion is (understandably) one of the first things we bothered to do.

1 Our perception of marriage is to take it as it is presented to us now and find someway to fit that peg into history. We do this by making the statements: marriage is about two consenting adults. Marriage is about love. Marriage is about responsibility. But can we find some semblance of marriage outside of human reason? For example we see certain animals act in ways that have similarities to our practice of marriage: eagles that are monogamous,  mother and father species taking care of their young until the young can survive (responsibility). However we as a species define marriage beyond this by using words like consent thus limited the idea of marriage to a more rational like idea. Like Darwin who would argue that humans and animals are shown to possess similar traits in order to show a progress of evolution from the animal state to the human state, would it be a viable argument/hypothesis to say that marriage predates the moment of our reason and has evolved into something that lends itself to a more rational idea? I don't think it's a hasty argument if we want to view marriage as an evolving species, but even with this argument then I would have to concede that marriage is a trait that needs to change as we do. Here we have another question then, when does something cease to be what it original was after so many metamorphesis. For example, take a box. One day the box changes color, but it is still a box. Another day, it develops legs, but it is still a box. Arms, a mouth, a tail form and the body changes to be more of a rectangle. Is it still a box? If we can at least agree that it is no longer a box then we must present ourselves with the challenging question, if marriage is shown to exist before reason in one form and continues to evolve over time, at what point must we concede that it is no longer a marriage? Furthermore who has the right to make that claim? A box is no longer a box once we define it outside the terms of a box. The main argument with marriage is how we are defining it, but is this definition an evolution of marriage or are we trying to simply make it more clear and this new definition has always been there. I would argue the former.
Quote
Quote
The challenge here, is what happens after its changed? Will those who fought to create this new "right" of marriage now be steadfast to hold to their definition when others come along to stake their claim at what marriage should be? For example what happens when polygomy is brought to the table? Will those who have redefined marriage not allow marriage to be redefined for these people? There are now rites that exist for those who wish to marry animals, which means this sort of practice exists already. Shall the definition of marriage be adjusted for them too? Once the camel's nose is the perverbal tent we have to expect the whole camel will eventually want to force its way in. Is society ready to make room for such adjustments now that it has opened the doors to same-sex marriage?

A slippery slope argument, you say?  How wonderful!

A doctor comes up to you and says if you keep to your diet you will have a heart attack. 2 Is this a slippery slope argument? A lawyer tells you unless you plea bargain you will be sentenced to death. 3 Is this a slippery slope argument? An economist declares because the economy has improved jobs will increase in the future. 4 Is this a slippery slope argument? It bothers me that people like to throw statements around like a slippery slope argument, straw man, circular reasoning, etc, but fail to understand how an argument which could appear as such, actually has a well formed argument past it. For example, let's go back in history to when the lady spilled coffee on her lap. If I were to say, the outcome of this legal case will now be the camel's nose in the tent opening up kinds of ridiculous lawsuits and a victimless society. Based on your conviction that my statement above is slippery slope you would have to make the same logical leap for this as well. But we know that once a precedent is made, people will move in on that precedent to open it even wider than it was before.  To declare that same-sex marriage is an equal right will lead to others asking their idea of marriage is an equal right. 5 Polygamy is practiced today and these people want to see it legal. Just as the woman spilling coffee on her lap lead to her receiving millions of dollars led to frivolous lawsuits, the equal rights fight to same-sex marriage will lead others to fight for similar rights. How can you believe this is a slippery slope when same-sex advocates point to their fight being the same as the civil rights movement? Are we saying that the civil rights movement leading to same-sex marriage is a slippery slope argument? A slippery slope argument is only that unless the chain is completed. Because I am 37, Obama will lose the election. There is no chain of events leading to this conjecture. however because I am 37 there will be 37 candles on my birthday cake. Whether or not 37 candles appear on my birthday cake is irrelevant, the conclusion itself can be drawn from the opening statement.

Quote
Here's the rub:  we "secularists", to the extent that that is in fact a group of people who share similar viewpoints, are actually logical human beings.  There is, in fact, no secularist agenda to speak of; what we want is for everybody to have equal rights, regardless of any competing religious viewpoints.

That is an agenda, regardless if you don't want it to be. Also your argument that secularists share similar viewpoints can be related to a religious group such as Catholics who have similar viewpoints about morals and can also be called logical human beings. I never made the assertion that secularists are not logical so I would appreciate it you didn't force the issue.

Quote
What we have found is that marriage offers people certain economic perks; as is well-documented in this thread, you're better off economically if you're married.  This is fine, except that there's an entire group of people that can't get married by definition - homosexuals.  By the very nature of marriage, this right is systematically denied to homosexuals who want to get married, and we "secularists" think that is gross.

It's a fair point too, but as I stated above, when does marriage stop becoming a marriage? 6 Governments support marriage because it supports a community. If the government wants to change their view of marriage based on the governmental idea of it supporting community they have every right to make that change. To assume this definition moves past the government idea though is like assuming American Democracy must therefore change the definition of democracy as a whole. Since that hasn't happened, I see no reason to make the government's idea of marriage the concept of marriage outside government, especially since we can establish that marriage is a part of human nature. If this is the case we can't put the cart before the horse.

Quote
How will we keep from re-redefining marriage in the future?  Namely because there's no logical reason to push for anything else.  As soon as you can marry someone of your own gender, things are equal; marriage is now defined as any consenting person forming a loving union with any other consenting person, which is perfect because the right of marriage is denied to nobody.  Polygamy or animal-human marriage don't come with the package because this definition is fine, and because polygamy and zoophilia have always been illegal in this country anyway.  Even "secularists" concede that there's no reason to redefine marriage to include these things, as there's no logical or social support for them.

I'm not quite too sure how you can openly state with confidence that because polygomy is illegal it is therefore wrong and hold onto an idea that same-sex marriage is right when it was illegal in the past. How can you justify your position if polygomy is made legal in certain states (namely Utah is my guess)? You are going to have to reconcile your position on what makes an equal right especially in the light that polygomy can be argued to be logical and a social support in a similar manner that same-sex marriage is. As you stated above marriage is now defined as between two consenting adults. What will you do if that position is yet again challenged? People are willing to go so far as to accept same-sex marriage under a certain umbrella but are unwilling to accept other like ideas under this same umbrella. 7

Quote
Also, don't be scared of re-definition.  Contrary to your belief, marriage is not some unchanging, eternal fact of life.  In fact, I recall a pretty significant change (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_v._Virginia) made to marriage not long ago which is, in my opinion, analogous to the situation we're in now.  And people didn't start having sex with goats once this decision was made, mind.

You forget once this decision was made same-sex couples didn't start to marry. But you also fail to recognize that same-sex marriage is an event related to this event in that most advocates such as yourself use the civil rights movement as a means to support it. That in itself provides the necessary motion for society to move in a similar direction. It may not happen for a while, however because polymogy is practiced, because there are actual examples of people marrying animals, I find it amazing that people would assume that such a case will never come up. My prediction is once same-sex marriage is legal in the majority of states, polygamy will be brought to the table. Arguments will be made for it and those who seem to be against it will have to defend their definition of marriage in the same way those against are arguing. Do you truly believe that same-sex marriage is the end all for marriage, that it cannot be changed past that? If so, how do you reconcile this with your statement marriage is not some unchanging, eternal fact of life? Can you not therefore concede that if marriage is to open up to polymogy that you must therefore accept it as an unchanging eternal fact of life? 8



Quote
Quote
Right now we are seeing a growing majority of secularist authority.
I'd argue that it's a good thing when people start to care more about equality than what they think their god might have to say on the topic.

9 I'm sorry but when people start to think that religion is antithesis to equality that is a bad thing and congruous to bigotry and primarily not true but due to past events I under no circumstances will have that discussion here.

1 Okay, come back to me when you've proven marriage came before religion.
2 No.
3 No.
4 No.
5 No reason to detract from the validity of same-sex marriage as presented.
6 I am sick and tired of saying this, so I'll say it just one more time.  No one here has offered any evidence that governments recognize marriage to support community or childbearing, and every single argument against homosexual marriage I've heard requires that premise to be true.  Someone should really offer that evidence.
7 Different umbrellas.
8 I can only speak for myself, but I do not believe that polygamy is a right that should be granted to Americans.  After same-sex marriage is legalized, everybody will be able to marry one other person, which is equality.  I'm not going to rule out that polygamy will never be legal, because I don't really care one way or the other about it.  When the pro-polygamy people knock on my door and ask me to vote in favor of legalizing it, I will listen to their case, and I'll vote if they're convincing and logical.  I haven't heard a convincing, logical defense of polygamy, though.  This is all very beside the point, however, and I think it's telling that you're choosing to spend all your time discussing polygamy rather than the issue at hand.
9 I'm sorry you feel that way, but religion is one of the major causes of inequality in the world today.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: ehra on July 13, 2012, 11:12:42 AM
We can balk at its ridiculousness, but past generations did the same with same-sex marriage, interracial marriage and beyond.

Yeah, because past generations had shitty beliefs that society eventually grew out of. And that's the problem I have with these sort of "well if we allow this then maybe at some point something you believe in will be done away with as well!" arguments. It assumes that humanity will never reach a point where it realizes that whatever bullshit I believe in today is just that, bullshit, and move on past it. It assumes that the beliefs we hold now are the best for everyone for the rest of humanity's existence, regardless of any philosophical or scientific progress made in the future that changes society's perspective on the issue.

Previous societies would balk at the idea of nobles and peasants marrying just as much as a person marrying an animal because they held ignorant as fuck beliefs that we, thankfully, did away with as time passed on. Same with interracial marriage. If future society's eventually decide that there is, in fact, merit in allowing whatever stupid comparison someone wants to come up with, then, honestly, I couldn't be more happy in the long run, because the idea that 2012 America is the pinnacle of human progress in social acceptance is depressing as hell.
Title: Re: A Secular Case Against Same-Sex Marriage
Post by: wolfandwolfandwolf on July 14, 2012, 09:29:57 AM
Not sure what's wrong with that statement...unless you're implying that humans are animals. But you know what I meant. Or are you telling me to "hold on" because that view might change in the future?
I was being a troll. Merely echoing the whole consent argument and how silly it is for someone to even bring it up.