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General => Archive => Topic started by: Jamesman42 on April 18, 2010, 07:51:08 PM
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Yes, I searched again for a good Christian girl on a dating site, and found this gem (it made me laugh):
"Here we go......This is the type of person I'm looking for, and don't hope for exceptions, sorry: A completely straight guy who has never been married and has no kids, who is either in college currently or has graduated from college, doesn't drink or smoke, is Protestant Christian or undecided and at least open to that path, and is anything but strictly liberal in their political views. But I don't want someone who is overly spiritual, that just freaks me out. Is significantly taller than me, more muscular than me, and not fatter than me. However, I care more about faces than bodies. They should care about their appearance, and smell really good (not as just a cover-up for bad smell either), knowing quite a bit about the science of hygiene. Someone who is interested in foreign language and culture. Someone who can keep a job and is not in the habit of burning bridges. Someone who values honesty and is never fake. Someone who doesn't just want to get in my pants...and trust me, I can tell if he does. Someone who is willing to travel and someone who I can look at and not easily label (for example, if I can look at you and say "goth", "wigger", "jock", "geek", "punk", "hick", "gangsta", etc, then I won't even glance a second time). No pictures in a mirror with a cell phone, and no barbed wire tattoos around the arm. No wife beaters or gang signs. If you have yellow teeth, there is something you can do about it. Oh and they must like Family Guy, and not just the stupid, over-quoted parts. Preferably not obsessed with sports, but realizes the importance of exercise. Extremely logical and open-minded (open-minded does not mean liberal). Humble. And FUNNY. Not a stupid funny, but a clever, dry, sarcastic sort of funny. Tolerant of my sleepiness and understanding of my negative humor.
I know it seems kinda picky, but I have had enough experience with this to know what works and what doesn't. PERIOD. And I don't like wasting my time."
I mean, OK, she has some stuff right, but she gets really ... specific. Yeah, it's "kinda picky" (by the way, I like it when my women use proper English).
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If you know nothing about the science of hygiene we are not a match.
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If you accept the science of anythign else, we are not a match.
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Posting in a soon-to-be epic thread.
If you accept the science of anythign else, we are not a match.
:lol
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James... you gotta find better dating sites.
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If you go to a different dating site, we are not a match.
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That's fucking ridiculous. She deserves to be alone for the rest of her life.
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If you think it odd that you are required to be open-minded when I won't consider anything less than my perceived ideal, we are not a match.
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Extremely logical and open-minded (open-minded does not mean liberal)
lol
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James... you gotta find better dating sites.
No, he needs to stay on this one...threads based on what he sees there are routinely epic.
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I swear, if you copy and paste my requirements for dating me on your internetz, we are not a match.
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If you quit making awesome threads like this, we are not a match.
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:lol :lol
She's actually a cute girl, too.
(https://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/238x68/548x378/0/2441991897623978704.jpeg)
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Oh that's easy. Tell her you fit her description perfectly. Then mouth rape her.
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Oh that's easy. Tell her you fit her description perfectly. Then stick it in her pooper.
Fix'd.
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:lol :lol
She's actually a cute girl, too.
(https://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/238x68/548x378/0/2441991897623978704.jpeg)
(https://www.celebrityclubber.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Sort_of_want.jpg)
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James... you gotta find better dating sites.
Honestly. All these women are neurotic cunts.
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:lol :lol
She's actually a cute girl, too.
(https://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/238x68/548x378/0/2441991897623978704.jpeg)
(https://www.celebrityclubber.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Sort_of_want.jpg)
This is the type of person I'm looking for ... A completely straight guy
Sorry bro.
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Well, that disqualifies both of us after what happened last night.
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When they are that specific they have no concept of what a dating site is.
However, she basically described me... except for the whole never been married thing. Too bad she's like five years too late, and my wife is absolutely amazing.
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Well, that disqualifies both of us after what happened last night.
I'm still thinking about how you managed to do that with TWO rubber duckies.
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There was actually a third one you didn't even see.
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Silly girls with their "Mr. Right" mentality.
EDIT: Is her shirt see-through?
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That explains why my bed squeaks every time I lay down on it.
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Eh, I'd hit it. I'd hit it like the Roman centurions hit Jesus in The Passion.
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There was actually a third one you didn't even see.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE YOU DID THE RUBBER DUCKIE THING WITH!!!!!! YOU TWO TIMING WHORE!!!! WE ARE NOT A MATCH!!!!!
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Oh! uh... well... you see.... it's kinda like...
...
*runs*
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Eh, I'd hit it. I'd hit it like the Roman centurions hit Jesus in The Passion.
Dangit dude, I shouldn't be laughing at this! The subject reply did it for me. :lol
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They should care about their appearance, and smell really good (not as just a cover-up for bad smell either), knowing quite a bit about the science of hygiene.
This will be trouble for her.
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Eh, I'd hit it. I'd hit it like the Roman centurions hit Jesus in The Passion.
Dangit dude, I shouldn't be laughing at this! The subject reply did it for me. :lol
Nail her like it's Good Friday, dude.
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:rollin
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If you change the thread subject every time you post we are not a match
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:rollin
Once again, in epic and dramatic fashion, LHK won the thread.
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Ask her if she knows how magnets work.
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Ask her if she knows how magnets work.
She's only interested in hygiene science, not miracles.
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Why don't you just go on a persian dating site like the one in Yes Man?
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Send her a reply that you actually thought you would be a perfect match for her, but upon closer inspection of her photo, she has too many moles on her chest, and judging from the nearly full waste basket and the lack of hospital corners on the bunk bed sheet, you can tell she's not a very organized housekeeper, and that dating a slob like her would just be a big turn off and waste of your time.
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I'm that perfect man. It's just that I'm not wasting my time with her.
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"Here we go......This is the type of person I'm looking for, and don't hope for exceptions, sorry: A completely straight guy who has never been married and has no kids, who is either in college currently or has graduated from college, doesn't drink or smoke, is Protestant Christian or undecided and at least open to that path, and is anything but strictly liberal in their political views. But I don't want someone who is overly spiritual, that just freaks me out. Is significantly taller than me, more muscular than me, and not fatter than me. However, I care more about faces than bodies. They should care about their appearance, and smell really good (not as just a cover-up for bad smell either), knowing quite a bit about the science of hygiene. Someone who is interested in foreign language and culture. Someone who can keep a job and is not in the habit of burning bridges. Someone who values honesty and is never fake. Someone who doesn't just want to get in my pants...and trust me, I can tell if he does. Someone who is willing to travel and someone who I can look at and not easily label (for example, if I can look at you and say "goth", "wigger", "jock", "geek", "punk", "hick", "gangsta", etc, then I won't even glance a second time). No pictures in a mirror with a cell phone, and no barbed wire tattoos around the arm. No wife beaters or gang signs. If you have yellow teeth, there is something you can do about it. Oh and they must like Family Guy, and not just the stupid, over-quoted parts. Preferably not obsessed with sports, but realizes the importance of exercise. Extremely logical and open-minded (open-minded does not mean liberal). Humble. And FUNNY. Not a stupid funny, but a clever, dry, sarcastic sort of funny. Tolerant of my sleepiness and understanding of my negative humor.
I know it seems kinda picky, but I have had enough experience with this to know what works and what doesn't. PERIOD. And I don't like wasting my time."
"Here we go, this is the type of shit I'm looking for, and you must be this exactly: A straight G who's never bred, who is educating or educated, doesn't spark Js, is Protestant or will be, and is STRICT in their STRICT belief of STRICTLY liberal STRICT political views. But I don't want someone who actually believes in shit, you know? Like, spiritual-wise and shit. You have to be so tall the when we make love it will be so awkward that we won't look each other in the eyes the next morning. You have to be really muscular too, because I can bench 340 on a rainy day. Fat is a no-go, even though the second we marry you know that my figure will go right out the window. However, if your face happens to be just right, then fuck all that shit. You should care about yourself somewhat, and give off a natural fragrance like that of the highland breeze on the dawn of victory. You should also know about the science of hygiene, yet at the same time reject science. You must have a job that will support my bridge-burning hobby. And I can always tell when a man wants to inspect the interior of my trousers. Someone who has no distinguishable quality between himself and just any douchebag off the street. Don't take pictures in a mirror with a cell phone, it's against my Protestant beliefs. Don't have barbed wire tattoos, because sometimes I believe they're real and I'm like "Oh my god you have barbed wire on your arm!" and then I feel stupid. You must resist the urge to beat me or flash gang signs at me. I'm already a member of three, thank you very much. If your teeth are yellow, they're fucking yellow. You have to like Family Guy too, and not the good parts. I know all of them, because I was totally watching Family Guy before it was on TV and everyone else got into it. Must be EXTREMELY logical and open minded, but not in the "hey, science makes sense" kind of way. Must not expect much from others and have a great sense of humor HAHA. Must be tolerant of me being sleepy and moody. Sometimes I wake up after five days of straight sleep and just kill people. I know it seems picky, but VAGINA BLOOD."
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the other one was even crazier, though...but this is fun too
If you think my post is fun, we are not a match
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Yeah, this one is definitely less crazy, because we are not thinking of hypothetical motorcycle/skydiving incidents that would cause her to hold the beliefs she does.
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Send her a reply that you actually thought you would be a perfect match for her, but upon closer inspection of her photo, she has too many moles on her chest, and judging from the nearly full waste basket and the lack of hospital corners on the bunk bed sheet, you can tell she's not a very organized housekeeper, and that dating a slob like her would just be a big turn off and waste of your time.
I like this idea.
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:lol :lol
She's actually a cute girl, too.
(https://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/238x68/548x378/0/2441991897623978704.jpeg)
(https://www.celebrityclubber.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Sort_of_want.jpg)
(https://www.slapyo.com/wp-content/hitit3times.jpg)
I don't make half of her qualifications, but I really exceed in others...so maybe we're a match.
Too bad she's a idiot...so we're not a match.
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:lol :lol
She's actually a cute girl, too.
(https://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/238x68/548x378/0/2441991897623978704.jpeg)
(https://www.backwater-productions.net/data_archive/images/funny/chat_board_humor/You%20Gonna%20Get%20Considered.jpg)
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Someone who doesn't just want to get in my pants...and trust me, I can tell if he does.
She can tell because that's the kind of guy she's attracted to.
Oh and they must like Family Guy, and not just the stupid, over-quoted parts.
:lol
...I have had enough experience with this to know what works and what doesn't. PERIOD. And I don't like wasting my time.
All of this is a lie, whether she knows it or not.
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Lol @ this thread :lol
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Eh, I'd hit it. I'd hit it like the Roman centurions hit Jesus in The Passion.
Dangit dude, I shouldn't be laughing at this! The subject reply did it for me. :lol
Nail her like it's Good Friday, dude.
LOL
ROFL
ROFLMAO
LMAO
LMFAO
LMMFAO!
LMMFAOOFLSFCGDSLHKSLDKE!
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Man people who look at dating sites deserve each other indeed heh
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Someone who doesn't just want to get in my pants...and trust me, I can tell if he does.
She can tell because that's the kind of guy she's attracted to.
Quoted for truth.
What women say they want, and what they respond to, are two entirely different things.
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Great pictures in this thread. :lol
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I like how she says; "If you don't like Family Guy, we are not a match"
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I was reading through it, kinda thinking, "Okay, so she's picky, but at least she's being kinda reasonable about it."
Then I hit the "MUST LIKE FAMILY GUY" part and suddenly felt stupid for not realizing she was a complete idiot sooner.
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Liking the same cartoon is of course the basis for every good relationship.
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Liking the same cartoon is of course the basis for every good relationship.
Well, there are other important things too.
I was dating this girl for a while two years ago and when I found out she preferred Gatorade to Powerade, I broke it off immediately. To this day I'm horrified to think about where my life may have wound up if I hadn't discovered this crucial piece of information in time.
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Liking the same cartoon is of course the basis for every good relationship.
Well, there are other important things too.
I was dating this girl for a while two years ago and when I found out she preferred Gatorade to Powerade, I broke it off immediately. To this day I'm horrified to think about where my life may have wound up if I hadn't discovered this crucial piece of information in time.
:o. What a bitch!
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I know it seems picky, but VAGINA BLOOD."
:lol :lol Good to know we think alike sometimes, SF. :laugh:
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Send her a reply that you actually thought you would be a perfect match for her, but upon closer inspection of her photo, she has too many moles on her chest, and judging from the nearly full waste basket and the lack of hospital corners on the bunk bed sheet, you can tell she's not a very organized housekeeper, and that dating a slob like her would just be a big turn off and waste of your time.
Oh man.
Remind me to do this tomorrow!
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If you think I'm joking, we are not a match.
"Here we go, this is the type of shit I'm looking for, and you must be this exactly: A straight G who's never bred, who is educating or educated, doesn't spark Js, is Protestant or will be, and is STRICT in their STRICT belief of STRICTLY liberal STRICT political views. But I don't want someone who actually believes in shit, you know? Like, spiritual-wise and shit. You have to be so tall the when we make love it will be so awkward that we won't look each other in the eyes the next morning. You have to be really muscular too, because I can bench 340 on a rainy day. Fat is a no-go, even though the second we marry you know that my figure will go right out the window. However, if your face happens to be just right, then fuck all that shit. You should care about yourself somewhat, and give off a natural fragrance like that of the highland breeze on the dawn of victory. You should also know about the science of hygiene, yet at the same time reject science. You must have a job that will support my bridge-burning hobby. And I can always tell when a man wants to inspect the interior of my trousers. Someone who has no distinguishable quality between himself and just any douchebag off the street. Don't take pictures in a mirror with a cell phone, it's against my Protestant beliefs. Don't have barbed wire tattoos, because sometimes I believe they're real and I'm like "Oh my god you have barbed wire on your arm!" and then I feel stupid. You must resist the urge to beat me or flash gang signs at me. I'm already a member of three, thank you very much. If your teeth are yellow, they're fucking yellow. You have to like Family Guy too, and not the good parts. I know all of them, because I was totally watching Family Guy before it was on TV and everyone else got into it. Must be EXTREMELY logical and open minded, but not in the "hey, science makes sense" kind of way. Must not expect much from others and have a great sense of humor HAHA. Must be tolerant of me being sleepy and moody. Sometimes I wake up after five days of straight sleep and just kill people. I know it seems picky, but VAGINA BLOOD."
:rollin @ all of this!
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How did she know I wanted in her pants without even knowning me.....uncanny.
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A completely straight guy who has never been married and has no kids
- Hey baby.
who is either in college currently or has graduated from college
- I have.
doesn't drink or smoke
- That's me on most Fridays!
is Protestant Christian or undecided and at least open to that path
- This bit creeps me out. "If you're not Protestant Christian, then I hope you at least like movies and the Ludovico technique."
and is anything but strictly liberal in their political views.
- I'm really racist and I think everyone should convert to the Euro.
But I don't want someone who is overly spiritual, that just freaks me out.
- That's fine, nothing spiritual about worshipping Imhotep.
Is significantly taller than me, more muscular than me, and not fatter than me.
(https://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/238x68/548x378/0/2441991897623978704.jpeg)
- Not only am I significantly taller, I think I just grew three inches.
However, I care more about faces than bodies.
- Baby, I'm gonna care for you all over.
They should care about their appearance, and smell really good (not as just a cover-up for bad smell either),
- I smell really good as a cover-up for good smell. I slather honey all over myself, and when it comes off, you'll notice that my skin naturally smells of honey. Also of bee stings.
knowing quite a bit about the science of hygiene.
- If it's been on the ground for less than ten seconds, you can still eat it. Sussed.
Someone who is interested in foreign language and culture.
- IMHOTEP WILL RISE.
Someone who can keep a job and is not in the habit of burning bridges.
- I set fire to bridges for a living. Fortunately, I'm also really bad at it, so I keep my job, I just don't get paid.
Someone who values honesty and is never fake.
- Full of integrity, me. Know what I'm worth. Never sell myself out for less than a fiver.
Someone who doesn't just want to get in my pants...and trust me, I can tell if he does.
- I don't just want to get in her pants. Also her dresses. Look gorgeous in a dress, I do.
Someone who is willing to travel and someone who I can look at and not easily label (for example, if I can look at you and say "goth", "wigger", "jock", "geek", "punk", "hick", "gangsta", etc, then I won't even glance a second time).
- Label? I barely look human.
No pictures in a mirror with a cell phone, and no barbed wire tattoos around the arm.
- No probs. I do have a tattoo of a duck chewing an anchor between my thighs, but no trace of barbed wire.
No wife beaters or gang signs.
- Okay.
If you have yellow teeth, there is something you can do about it.
- Ooh. Enigmatic.
Oh and they must like Family Guy, and not just the stupid, over-quoted parts. Preferably not obsessed with sports, but realizes the importance of exercise.
- I realise the importance of exercise. Then I disregard it and guzzle down a steak. Yum.
Extremely logical and open-minded (open-minded does not mean liberal).
- Extremely logical.
Humble.
- Yes! Yes I am. Humble and handsome. Good combination.
And FUNNY. Not a stupid funny, but a clever, dry, sarcastic sort of funny. Tolerant of my sleepiness and understanding of my negative humor.
- Tolerant? Aroused by, more like.
I know it seems kinda picky
- Naw.
but I have had enough experience with this to know what works and what doesn't. PERIOD. And I don't like wasting my time.
- Take it from this racist Imhotep-worshipper... if you give me your number, we are a match.
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I love these threads :D
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*brilliance*
(https://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj144/guitarcozmo/Lidge_Owned.jpg)
Out of the motherfuckin' park dude. Nice. :hefdaddy
In other news, send this guy in - he'll keep her in line:
(https://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj144/guitarcozmo/Humor/double_ownage.gif)
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^^that whole sequence is priceless.....she got him good originally with the pan...but....she got it way worse...its awesome with the full audio^^
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I'm intrigued. This is the only part I've ever seen. Link?
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I lol'd at Fanica's post. POTY?
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Dating sites like this kill me. There's got to be out dating website for those who thunk the earth is still flat or dating sites for grops of people wearing the same sneakers. The older i get, the less I like people in general. Old moldie ranting from the fence!
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It's women like this chick who make me think sometimes that I might be better of as a misogynistic asshole.
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I'm intrigued. This is the only part I've ever seen. Link?
it was emailed to me...ages ago.....it was for some website....that was all about secretly filming you smacking/hitting other people. She sets up the cam in the kitchen...waits until he's eating his cereal...gets a cookie sheet/pan out of the cupboard behind him, and two hands him over the head with it. She uploads the vid.....he sees it...plots revenge...which is what your clip above is.
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Outstanding. I have to go on a hunt for this one. Every time I see it, I'm like "That's damn funny, but what an asshole!!" Now that I know she totally had it coming to her, he is an asshole no more. :lol
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I can't wait to read the rest of this thread when I have time.
Extremely logical and open-minded (open-minded does not mean liberal)
lol
This is what I was going to quote! :lol
I used to have fun with OK Cupid...
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"Here we go......This is the type of person I'm looking for, and don't hope for exceptions, sorry: A completely straight guy who has never been married and has no kids, who is either in college currently or has graduated from college, doesn't drink or smoke, is Protestant Christian or undecided and at least open to that path, and is anything but strictly liberal in their political views. But I don't want someone who is overly spiritual, that just freaks me out. Is significantly taller than me, more muscular than me, and not fatter than me. However, I care more about faces than bodies. They should care about their appearance, and smell really good (not as just a cover-up for bad smell either), knowing quite a bit about the science of hygiene. Someone who is interested in foreign language and culture. Someone who can keep a job and is not in the habit of burning bridges. Someone who values honesty and is never fake. Someone who doesn't just want to get in my pants...and trust me, I can tell if he does. Someone who is willing to travel and someone who I can look at and not easily label (for example, if I can look at you and say "goth", "wigger", "jock", "geek", "punk", "hick", "gangsta", etc, then I won't even glance a second time). No pictures in a mirror with a cell phone, and no barbed wire tattoos around the arm. No wife beaters or gang signs. If you have yellow teeth, there is something you can do about it. Oh and they must like Family Guy, and not just the stupid, over-quoted parts. Preferably not obsessed with sports, but realizes the importance of exercise. Extremely logical and open-minded (open-minded does not mean liberal). Humble. And FUNNY. Not a stupid funny, but a clever, dry, sarcastic sort of funny. Tolerant of my sleepiness and understanding of my negative humor.
I know it seems kinda picky, but I have had enough experience with this to know what works and what doesn't. PERIOD. And I don't like wasting my time."
"Here we go, this is the type of shit I'm looking for, and you must be this exactly: A straight G who's never bred, who is educating or educated, doesn't spark Js, is Protestant or will be, and is STRICT in their STRICT belief of STRICTLY liberal STRICT political views. But I don't want someone who actually believes in shit, you know? Like, spiritual-wise and shit. You have to be so tall the when we make love it will be so awkward that we won't look each other in the eyes the next morning. You have to be really muscular too, because I can bench 340 on a rainy day. Fat is a no-go, even though the second we marry you know that my figure will go right out the window. However, if your face happens to be just right, then fuck all that shit. You should care about yourself somewhat, and give off a natural fragrance like that of the highland breeze on the dawn of victory. You should also know about the science of hygiene, yet at the same time reject science. You must have a job that will support my bridge-burning hobby. And I can always tell when a man wants to inspect the interior of my trousers. Someone who has no distinguishable quality between himself and just any douchebag off the street. Don't take pictures in a mirror with a cell phone, it's against my Protestant beliefs. Don't have barbed wire tattoos, because sometimes I believe they're real and I'm like "Oh my god you have barbed wire on your arm!" and then I feel stupid. You must resist the urge to beat me or flash gang signs at me. I'm already a member of three, thank you very much. If your teeth are yellow, they're fucking yellow. You have to like Family Guy too, and not the good parts. I know all of them, because I was totally watching Family Guy before it was on TV and everyone else got into it. Must be EXTREMELY logical and open minded, but not in the "hey, science makes sense" kind of way. Must not expect much from others and have a great sense of humor HAHA. Must be tolerant of me being sleepy and moody. Sometimes I wake up after five days of straight sleep and just kill people. I know it seems picky, but VAGINA BLOOD."
:rollin :rollin :rollin
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James, James, James...
lol
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And FUNNY. Not a stupid funny, but a clever, dry, sarcastic sort of funny. Tolerant of my sleepiness and understanding of my negative humor.
- Tolerant? Aroused by, more like.
:rollin :rollin :rollin
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Someone who is interested in foreign language and culture.
- IMHOTEP WILL RISE.
:lol Wonderful.
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Post an answer that seems to express genuine interest in every way, with a picture of a silverback gorilla attached / at the bottom.
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But I don't want someone who is overly spiritual, that just freaks me out.
- That's fine, nothing spiritual about worshipping Imhotep.
Is significantly taller than me, more muscular than me, and not fatter than me.
- Not only am I significantly taller, I think I just grew three inches.
knowing quite a bit about the science of hygiene.
- If it's been on the ground for less than ten seconds, you can still eat it. Sussed.
Someone who doesn't just want to get in my pants...and trust me, I can tell if he does.
- I don't just want to get in her pants. Also her dresses. Look gorgeous in a dress, I do.
Someone who is willing to travel and someone who I can look at and not easily label (for example, if I can look at you and say "goth", "wigger", "jock", "geek", "punk", "hick", "gangsta", etc, then I won't even glance a second time).
- Label? I barely look human.
No pictures in a mirror with a cell phone, and no barbed wire tattoos around the arm.
- No probs. I do have a tattoo of a duck chewing an anchor between my thighs, but no trace of barbed wire.
Humble.
- Yes! Yes I am. Humble and handsome. Good combination.
:hefdaddy
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I was gonna ask why is this thread still going and not just archived, but then I read the past few posts :lol
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Wait... she didn't mention anything about credit scores... she hit every other topic, but you can have bad credit?
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Wait... she didn't mention anything about credit scores... she hit every other topic, but you can have bad credit?
And a small dickus ;)
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She has no problems with AIDS either.
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or pedo and zoophilia...
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:lol
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Wonder if she prefers ducks or rabbits?
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Or bondage and rape fantasy.
You can play Ben Roethisberger, and she can play the drunk underage sorostitute!
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Wait... she didn't mention anything about credit scores... she hit every other topic, but you can have bad credit?
She has no problems with AIDS either.
or pedo and zoophilia...
Or bondage and rape fantasy.
It was implied. We all know if you're a liberal you're also into raping AIDS infected baby animals with 30,000 dollars of bondage gear you bought on a high APR credit card.
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Maybe she likes tentacles... :|
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What's with the newfound tentacle obsession volk?
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What's with the newfound tentacle obsession volk?
They're tentacles.
Seriously, I have no idea. They're creepy.
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What's with the newfound tentacle obsession volk?
Not an obsession; a mere curiosity ;)
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Curiosity raped the furry.
...er, killed the cat, rather.
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:rollin
(https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3595/3412906950_511fed3a73.jpg)
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(https://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd51/mrsir7000/Silly%20Stuff/awesome.jpg)
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Oh God, I hope the admins archive this one as well... :lol
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If you are krulos, we are a match.
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Wait... she didn't mention anything about credit scores... she hit every other topic, but you can have bad credit?
She has no problems with AIDS either.
or pedo and zoophilia...
Or bondage and rape fantasy.
It was implied. We all know if you're a liberal you're also into raping AIDS infected baby animals with 30,000 dollars of bondage gear you bought on a high APR credit card.
Wait... she didn't mention anything about credit scores... she hit every other topic, but you can have bad credit?
And a small dickus ;)
Oh, and liberals have small penises as well. Forgot that one.
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What's with the newfound tentacle obsession volk?
He's been hanging out with Slash.
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What's with the newfound tentacle obsession volk?
He's been hanging out with Slash.
It all makes sense now.
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Wait... she didn't mention anything about credit scores... she hit every other topic, but you can have bad credit?
She has no problems with AIDS either.
or pedo and zoophilia...
Or bondage and rape fantasy.
I quite like that this thread, clearly designed to jeer at how specific this lass was, has basically taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque and gone "You know what, I'm not sure she's specific enough!"
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With this girl, I believe in Miracles.
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Wait... she didn't mention anything about credit scores... she hit every other topic, but you can have bad credit?
She has no problems with AIDS either.
or pedo and zoophilia...
Or bondage and rape fantasy.
I quite like that this thread, clearly designed to jeer at how specific this lass was, has basically taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque and gone "You know what, I'm not sure she's specific enough!"
Hey, I need to know whether being someone with a bad credit score, AIDS and zoophilia that likes watching tentacles rape little girls is still considered a match because he likes Family Guy.
This is a pretty implausible situation though. I mean, who likes Family Guy?
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She makes no indication of a preference against DV/DA, interracial, or bukkake. Methinks those would fall under her expectation for "open minded".
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Simply amazing.
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bukkake
Simply amazing.
We aim to please.
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bukkake
Simply amazing.
We aim to please.
I always thought bukkake was less about aim and more about general whitewashing.
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In videogame terms, that's called spray and pray.
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In videogame terms, that's called spray and pray.
Well, you mentioned praying, so maybe she would be interested.
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I think it might have been said last time, but someone should show that girl this thread.
You never know, someone might get a PM.
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In videogame terms, that's called spray and pray.
Well, you mentioned praying, so maybe she would be interested.
Hope she can find enough people that confirm to her standards to be able to make a bukkake video.
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In videogame terms, that's called spray and pray.
Well, you mentioned praying, so maybe she would be interested.
Hope she can find enough people that confirm to her standards to be able to make a bukkake video.
Just get UMH in here, at the rate he faps, he could have her covered in twenty minutes.
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In videogame terms, that's called spray and pray.
Well, you mentioned praying, so maybe she would be interested.
Hope she can find enough people that confirm to her standards to be able to make a bukkake video.
Just get UMH in here, at the rate he faps, he could have her covered in twenty minutes.
:lol
I think it might have been said last time, but someone should show that girl this thread.
You never know, someone might get a PM.
It's not that hard to find the page/site via google, but I think Jamesmiain should give the okay to message her this thread.
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Guys, NSFW! Pervs
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bukkake
Simply amazing.
We aim to please.
I always thought bukkake was less about aim and more about general whitewashing.
Yeah, but it was too perfect not to make the joke.
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If I were you, I'd totally tell this girl you are what she is looking for, and play the whole damn game, just for our entertainment. Come on. I mean seriously, this would be fun as hell.
In addition -- whoever the hell posted the pie in the face clip, the ENTIRE thing is necessary. Hook us up.
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Heck, we should all join some dating site and lead the most "restrictive" persons on, saying that we're their perfect match, etc. etc.
But seriously, continue your shenanigans.
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bukkake
Simply amazing.
We aim to please.
I always thought bukkake was less about aim and more about general whitewashing.
Yeah, but it was too perfect not to make the joke.
I know, I couldn't resist my line either.
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In addition -- whoever the hell posted the pie in the face clip, the ENTIRE thing is necessary. Hook us up.
Ask and you shall receive:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AqAgUJoxHY&feature=related (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AqAgUJoxHY&feature=related)
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If I were you, I'd totally tell this girl you are what she is looking for, and play the whole damn game, just for our entertainment. Come on. I mean seriously, this would be fun as hell.
I'm not totally against this idea. I mean, it does seem like a pretty big dick move, but bitches and whores are always keepin me down :millahhhh
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If I were you, I'd totally tell this girl you are what she is looking for, and play the whole damn game, just for our entertainment. Come on. I mean seriously, this would be fun as hell.
I'm not totally against this idea. I mean, it does seem like a pretty big dick move, but bitches and whores are always keepin me down :millahhhh
You got 99 problems and a bitch is central to several of them?
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More than likely. Probably. I think so.
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If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for ya son, but we are not a match.
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:clap:
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If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for ya son, but we are not a match.
:rollin